Monster 'BFC' officially takes energy drinks too far

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In the early days of energy drinks, the tiny 8-ounce Red Bull can was the only game in town. Then somewhere along the line, someone decided to double the can size to 16 ounces. Great — twice the punch for the same price. Then came the 24-ounce energy drink can. A little excessive, sure, but sometimes you need a little extra, extra pick-me-up and a big 24-ounce can is always good for a laugh.

Then came the 32-ounce Monster Energy “BFC” — the biggest F-ing can I ever did see.

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I have relatively gigantic hands and the BFC still looks silly.

Here’s what the side of the can says:

“Yeah, you know what ‘BFC’ stands for… No, you shouldn’t try to chug it! (We know you can, just don’t.) Instead kick back and enjoy the Biggest Baddest Energy Drink on the planet. In the biggest effen can we could find. Wimps, Health Nuts and Busy Bodies need not apply. Recommended use: 1 Big Can per day.”

Weird random capitalization aside, I’d never seen a can this big but apparently it’s not a new phenomenon in Alexandria, Minnesota, where I purchased the $3.99 can at a local gas station.

Here’s how my conversation with the clerk went down:

Me: How long has this been on the market?

Clerk: Oh, a while. Like six months maybe.

Customer with tattoo on his neck: Naw, like TWO YEARS!

Clerk: Well, we’ve been carrying it for about six months.

Me: I’ve never seen an energy drink this big.

Manager: Yeah, it’s not carried everywhere. There’s really not a huge demand for it. No demand for it at all, really. You’re actually the first person I’ve ever seen buy one.

Customer with tattoo on his neck: I bought one yesterday!

So there you have it — Monster Energy BFC. Available in regular and “lo-carb” for $3.99 at very few locations. Oh, and just a word of advice: I do NOT recommend consuming an energy drink of this size unless you’re really gonna nurse it for a while. I finished this can about six hours ago and I’m still plenty fidgety in an agitated kind of way. Also, my stomach hurts.

Here are some more photos. Note the size of the can when placed next to a car tire, some pennies, and a breath mint.

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