Too Busy To Pray? Don't Worry – Indulgences Are Back!

Martin Luther must be turning in his grave. He was able to fight the Roman Catholic Church over indulgences and managed to avoid being burned at the stake. But Luther didn’t face an even greater enemy: the Internet.

Enter Information Age Prayer, a new web service that lets you pay for computer prayers. The company uses “the latest technology in text-to-speech synthesizers” to read aloud your typed prayers “at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person praying.”

In other words, forget praying. Just pay them to do it.

IAP isn’t just for the Jesus followers out there, either. In addition to serving Protestants and Catholics, prayers for Jews, Muslims, “unaffiliated” and “other” are also available. There’s a special on Hail Mary prayers, just $0.07 each. There’s also a handy prayer for financial help (see image below).

The end, finally, is nigh. As I suspected, it was the Internet that did it.