Some guy: Go naked to the Beijing Olympics


David Rice, an expert in the process of creating hysterical hype that is attractive to second-tier Washington, DC newspapers run by the Moonies, states that the Chinese will steal your crap and leave you for dead unless you buy a new, disposable camera, cellphone, and laptop. In short, he believes that the Chinese intend to spy on every single tourist in the country and the only way to save yourself is to carry no electronics at all.

“It’s not if you think you’re a target, it’s if they think you’re a target,” Mr. Rice said. “It’s hard to overstate the aggressiveness of the type of techniques. This is the reality of cyberwarfare and cyberespionage in the 21st century.”

Will you be the subject of espionage? Probably not. China already has enough pictures of your kids. However, if you’re going to Beijing and expect to get any work done we’d recommend using the postal service to send encrypted bits from China to your home office in Scranton. It might take a while but it’s worth the effort.