WASP KNIFE!!!

No, you won’t look crazy if you buy this for $379.95. You’ll be a real character, someone men look up to and women are slightly aroused by. Sure, wear it with your camo pants and jungle hat. No, those “NO FEAR” patches are very cool. Put them on your old army jacket. Naw, it’s not weird to have a fallout shelter. We understand it came with the house. No, put a safe in there. A big one. Also, put some cans of peaches and some beans down there, just in case they drop the biggun. No, no, gun shows are great places to meet women. I’m sure she’s lovely. Yes, I’ll meet her when she gets here. What’s that? You want to try your berserking techniques on that tree? Well, by all means drink that 40 and get started. We’ll be over here. No, we’ll watch the burgers. You go ahead.