This Best of Craigslist [NSFW] post involves a young man requesting a young woman to arrive at a hotel room and then accept rear penetration while she plays Super Mario Brothers on the NES. The entire post is fairly detailed, ensuring that no one with a modicum of good sense or intelligence will take this young man up on his offer. I have taken the liberty of cleaning up the post after the jump, ensuring you won’t be caught by your boss reading erotic Mario fan fiction. Instead, it now basically reads like a GameFAQs walk-through.
Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get jumped from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then.
You must know your way around the game before we meet, must be open to turtle-style gameplay, also able to fake an 1-up is a plus.
I will send you the address to a hotel and a room number. When you arrive the door will be open. Please come in close and lock the door and close the shades if they are still open. I will be in the bathroom and the door will be closed. Turn on the TV and the Nintendo. Remove all of your clothing. Turn off all lights in the room and kneel down on the bed so you are directly in the light of the TV. You need to be facing the TV with your Princess Peach in the air pointed toward the pillows on the bed.
Press the start button on the controller when you are ready. I will hear the sound and turn the light off in the bathroom and come out. You will not look directly at me, only look at the TV. When the first level starts I will begin to finger you and lick you. I will be using lots of lube as well.
When you reach the end of level one, make sure to trigger the fireworks. This is vital to the entire experience. I must hear the fireworks. When level 2 begins and Mario walks into the pipe, I will penetrate you. You may say things like, “MORE”, “HARDER”, “YES”, “KOOPA ME”, but nothing else. I will continue having gameplay until the level ends. DO NOT take the secret level skip. If you die I will pull out and spank you until the level restarts.
When you reach the flag you must again trigger the fireworks, and also 1-up. I will pull out. When the 1-3 starts I will penetrate your castle. You are allowed to say something like “OH GOD”, “YES”, OR “IT HURTS” no other conversation is allowed.
When level 1-4 starts I will alternate between Bullet Bills as I see fit. You may beg me to cum inside or outside of you, depending on what you want. When boss falls and you reach the princess I will pull out and blow my coins where you have convinced me I want too. You may then say something like “Thanks”, “It was great”, “I loved it”, “Don’t stop”
If I am impressed you may continue playing and I will continue to pleasure you. If I am not, I will turn the Nintendo Off and return to the bathroom. At this time you may clean your self with the towel that is beside the bed. Turn the lights on, redress yourself and leave.
I may come back out and talk to you as you dress but the conversation will most likely be short and revolve around scheduling another time to get together.