Bill Gates' Retirement To Do List

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Today is the last day at Microsoft as a fulltime employee for William Henry Gates III, but instead of yet another post about his legacy or what he has contributed to computing – we decided to put together a todo list for Bill now that he is retired. So, now that Bill Gates is retired, he can finally catch up on or do the following:

10. Finish writing “QBASIC For Dummies”
9. Switch to Gmail
8. Cure Malaria, AIDS and Hangovers
7. Migrate from Twitter to Friendfeed with everybody else
6. Actually go out and buy the 54 countries from the bottom of the world GDP ranking list (or the bottom 45% of households in the US instead?)
5. Wear a black turtleneck, jeans and sneakers and feel comfortable about it
4. Clear Hillary Clinton’s debt
3. Reply to Michael Arrington’s “request for comment” emails
2. Downgrade to XP
1. Go on “Dancing With The Stars”

If you have anything else to add, we will definitely pass it on.

  • http://dmix.ca dMix

    11. Delete old memos
    12. Get development team to focus Windows 7 on performance and usability not fancy UI
    13. Tell Ballmer that he too often mistakes ignorance for arrogance, “it’s not just your personality”
    14. Get back to #1 richest person in the world
    15. Buy toilet paper

  • http://wholegamut.wordpress.com karthik reddy

    good stuff Nik. I hope someone in Letterman’s writing team picks up few of those.

  • http://wholegamut.wordpress.com karthik reddy

    trace the guy who famously threw the apple pie on him and give him the bird

  • http://www.flownet.com/ron Ron Garret

    Bill’s wealth can’t possibly be the same as the bottom 45% of U.S households. Bill’s net worth is ~$50B. There are ~300M people in the U.S., so about ~135M in the bottom 45%. That would be an average net worth of $370 per person in the bottom 45%. The bottom 45% in the U.S. is poor, but it’s not that poor.

  • http://www.flownet.com/ron Ron Garret

    Just noticed that the stat is from 1999, but the same argument applies, just with slightly different numbers.

  • kc

    11. Try living like a poor by giving your money to the poor. -Future-

  • lpdahito

    Lol… this is definitely good stuff !!!!

  • http://500hats.typepad.com dave mcclure

    21. work with Melinda on spec for Microsoft Bob v2.0

  • http://www.forumkerala.com/malayalam-cinema/8255-fk-joke-corner-216.html#post942889 FK JOKE CORNER - Page 216 - Malayalam Cinema Forum

    […] Bill Gates

  • http://www.ianalyzr.com Web Analytics Blog

    “7. Migrate from Twitter to Friendfeed with everybody else”

    I smell Mike here! Why is everyone at TechCrunch against Twitter!??

    No.3 was funny :P ! The article post should have taken pre-fix [JustForFun]! Is this post trying to mock Bill or seriously provide to do list? I wonder!

  • Charlie

    @Ron (4)

    I wonder… I have a comp sci degree and a programming job with a decent salary that is well above the national average, and I own my home and have retirement accounts and the whole bit, but my net worth while trending upward, is negative (mostly because of student loans).

  • http://thinkingdigitally.com Rob Olson

    haha good post Nik.

    17. Buy iPod and install iTunes.

  • http://www.andre-friedrichs.com/elsewhere/bill-gates/ Bill Gates | André Friedrichs’ Web site | bill gates

    […] Bill Gates […]

  • shane blyth

    !8: Buy a Zune and “join the social”
    17: Find out what “Join the Social” is/means.

  • http://www.mattrutherford.com/2008/06/28/bill-gates-retirement-to-do-list/ Bill Gates retirement to-do list | mattrutherford.com

    […] Finally – Bill Gates can get round to his retirement to-do list […]

  • http://www.techcrunchit.com/ Nik Cubrilovic

    We might have to make the top 10 list a Friday afternoon TCIT feature :)

  • http://www.morshe.com Bob

    […] Tell us if he owns Apple (indirectly)

  • http://russelljohn.info Russell

    Switch to Ubuntu :)

  • Peter Boot

    Buy the rights to the game Monopoly

  • http://rahulkumar.posterous.com Rahul Kumar

    k…Gmail is overrated. You can say web-based Windows Live Hotmail sucks, but Microsoft created a fantastic application (Windows Live Mail) for free or Outlook (for Bill) to use to check mail.

  • Joshua

    Releasing that sex tape!

  • http://pedrosanta.blogspot.com Pedro Machado Santa

    11. Buy an iPod/iPhone.

  • bobby

    switch to a mac.

  • Ron Smith

    I find it interesting how so many people with such huge amounts of self described intellectual horsepower can find so much time in their busy days to bash Gates and Microsoft, yet oddly fail to provide a realistic competitive alternative. Apple – cute product, pitiful market share. Open Source – an idea Stalin must love and about as successful. Mozilla, Opera, Safari, etc. – how you can lose when browsers are free? From a business perspective it is cute how you all get your panties in a bunch over someone who was an industry leader, revolutionized personal computing, built the most successful company in the history of the world and in his retirement has revolutionized philanthropy and what it means to be wealthy. I am sure you would find him more hip if he spent his wealth on America’s cup racing yachts or buying up real estate in SoCal. I know – Apple was the first at everything, Microsoft has no talent and steals everyone else’s ideas, Windows sucks and people only use it because they have been forced to and on and on and on. There is a mutli-billion software industry globally with more users and more needs than anyone could imagine 10 years ago. We live in historically open global economy. There are more people with PCs and the wherewithal to use them than ever before. Yet with all this market share in play, in open markets, with virtually every company, household and public institution relying daily on information technology, the self proclaimed technology ‘underground’ has yet to make a dent, yet to field a viable alternative, yet to build a company that can compete without government intervention and EU regulators and yet to build a better mouse trap. The last time I checked, people were free to spend their money as they see fit and for businesses, governments and personal use IT is a strategic investment. Instead of sitting on the side lines whining, why don’t you create something that is worthwhile and viable and compete in the open market. Come out from under your rock (or your mother’s basement) and realize that we live in a competitive global economy that welcomes with open arms anything that makes their lives easier, their businesses more competitive or the productivity more efficient. It is not like we are talking about railroads, cable, wireless TelCom or any other industry with a huge barrier to entry. It is an Operating System – anyone in the world is free to change at any time for any reason. If you have the answer, why is no one buying? If IE is so bad and Netscape, Mozilla, Opera, etc. is so much better, why the need for the government to step in and ‘level the playing field? How about because a browser is a commodity and for the average person the actual browser makes about as much difference as the company that milled their flour. Oh, look, Bill Gates created an industry and is making money; I want to make money – the world owes me a spot on the web… How about instead of crying like school girls you suck it up, find the next break through technology, leverage it in a way that everyone can appreciate and use and make your own way in the world. I would be embarrassed if all I could do was look at a successful company and make my living by pandering to the ‘have-nots’ who will flock to your website and read your blog and join a web-wide pity party to share their feelings and find reassurance that the reason they are sharing a condo with 3 ‘buddies’ and riding their scooters to work everyday is because the Military-Industrial complex got together and handed the IT world to Bill Gates and Microsoft and have spent their every waking moment ensuring that your laundry list of ‘obviously superior’ products fail to reach more than 5 of every 100 desktops or servers in the world. Mommy – it is a big, tough, mean world out there and Bill Gates won’t let me make billions (which I deserve because I have an email address and an internet connection). Enjoy your pity party and rest assured who and whatever follows in the footsteps of Microsoft and Bill Gates will provide a whole new opportunity for you to join in a global ‘circle-jerk 2.0’ and blame someone else for you inability to compete.

  • http://sina.com Wakie Wang

    Wish you good in your future and do more career,I believe you are a hero of me .YOu are always my idol.

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