A big thank you to everybody for filling our tips-at-crunchgear-dot-com inbox with wonderful, unique, and newsworthy items. Here are a few that we missed.
“Last weekend before holiday…
Catch me while you can…I leave on Wednesday the 20th May
When you are ready for the ultimate in upscale, exclusive female companionship give me a call. Your pleasure is my business….
If you like your ladies beautiful, cultured, elegant?
The companionship of a woman who is both sensual and intelligent,relish the pleasures of the gentle touch,the relaxed approach,the lingering kiss,treasure hours of erotic bliss
If your dream is an English blonde,long, long legs and stockings on,exquisite lingerie,tall and slim, with emerald eyes and porcelain skin
…then pick up the phone and let the magic begin.
I am available for incalls in Farringdon, London EC1, or outcalls in Central London, City and Heathrow most day, also I am available for dinner dates, overnight and longer liasions as well as to travel Europe, with adequate notice.
To make a booking, please call me on (UK) 07526819966
I actually prefer my ladies homely, backwards, and clumsy. Who goes to Farringdon, anyway? I heard that place is pretty boring. I also find it a little insulting that you’re trying to drum up business right before you go on vacation. You seem like the type to leave town early anyway. “Oh yeah, I’ll meet you at Heathrow at 7:00 tonight,” but did you show up? Did you? I spent all night talking to an older woman who was pretty irate that I asked if she was from England when she was actually from Wales. Apparently that’s not cool.
“PART TIME JOB OFFER
A RELIABLE REPRESENTATIVE IS NEEDED IN OUR
COMPANY IF INTERESTED PLEASE CONTACT
US FOR MORE INFORMATIONS
PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THE EMAIL BLOW:
Mr YEO PENG LEO”
Hello Mr. Leo. I read with great interest your e-mail dated May 14, 2008. A part time job sounds great. I think I would be perfect for this position, too. It sounds right up my alley, as they say. The almost overwhelming amount of detailed information contained within your e-mail, along with the explicit instructions to NOT e-mail you back at the e-mail address you listed makes me believe that you run a well-oiled machine over there. It seems very organized and well-structured. I hereby announce my candidacy for the position. Please do not call or e-mail me if you’re interested (wink, wink).
Millioons of people aacross the world have already tested THIS and ARE making their girlfrieends feel brand new sexual sensationss! YOU are the best in bed, aren’t you ?
Girls! Deveelop your sexual relationshhip and get even MORE pleasuure! Make your boyfriiend a gift!”
I am NOT the best in bed. I want to be completely up front and honest with you about that. Now, can I still order this product? I’m interested in becoming better (or the best, I guess) in bed, but I’m more interested in having gifts made for me. What kinds of gifts are these, to be more precise? I don’t want any stupid T-shirts or cards made out of orange construction paper. I’m looking for more functional stuff like birdhouses, shelving, or items that fulfill two needs, like edible soap or pens that have erasers on the end. Possible?