The iPhone Tour: I Give Up

anna.gifPlease don’t hate us, Mike. See, reader Mike emailed me asking us to stop talking about the iPhone. But we can’t. We really can’t. It’s taken over the entire news cycle. Everyone is afraid of the iPhone and they won’t launch anything to compete for it. Imagine releasing, I don’t know, a fairly cool sci-fi movie the same week Star Wars 7: Attack of George Lucas’ Prostate. Would you do it? No. You’d wait until the holidays, maybe. You’d time it just right to avoid the huge shadow Star Wars casts on the landscape.

So please, go watch this crazy video. Manufacturers: go and watch it twice. This is what EVERY PHONE HAS TO LOOK LIKE FROM NOW ON. I will repeat. NO ONE WANTS YOUR PHONES ANYMORE UNLESS SOME GUY IN A BLACK SHIRT TALKS ABOUT IT FOR 20 MINUTES AND UNLESS CLICKING THROUGH THE PHONE REMINDS ME MORE OF MINORITY REPORT THAN NORBIT. This is your Windows/MS-DOS moment — everything that came before this phone was MS-DOS. Sure, you had Norton Commander and that weird graphical DOS shell, but when Windows — and MacOS — hit the street the game changed entirely. MS-DOS doesn’t cut it, EVERYTHING THAT CAME BEFORE THIS IS MS-DOS. End of rant. I’m sorry, Mike, but I had to do it. Only a few more days and then we can all get on with our lives.

iPhone Tour