This one goes the cosplayers in the audience (you know who your are). It’s a full-sized replica of Link’s Hylian Shield. Manufactured by True Swords, its been designed to parry the mightiest of blows from you foe’s Styrofoam weapons. And when you’re not using it for preventing your throat from getting slit feel safe in knowing that it’s keeping a constant vigil in protecting you from ever getting laid.
Available now for $75 plus the self-respect that evaporates when you finish your transaction.