When Verizon Chatbots Attack

A close friend of CrunchGear sent us this charming exchange he had with Verizon regarding his decision to pick up a nice new phone. Did he get many answers? No, but he did get frustrated enough to send me the chat log. All names have be redacted to protect the cyborgian.

Please wait for a Verizon Wireless sales
representative to assist you with your order. Thank
you for your patience!

A Verizon Wireless online pre-sales specialist has
joined the chat. You are now chatting with TRON

TRON: Hello. Thank you for visiting our chat
service. May I help you with your order today?

You: hi TRON

You: what do you know about the KRZR?

You: i’m interested in getting one, but i don’t think
it’s out yet

TRON: I’d be happy to help you with that.

TRON: I have no information on that phone as of
yet.

You: oh. bummer. the press release says “second half
of 2006”. but that could mean waiting until xmas!

TRON: Maybe.

You: what if i get a free phone now. . . can i then
upgrade to the KRZR when it comes out?

TRON: You’ll get a free phone every two years with
New Every Two. Sign up for and maintain two years of
service on a digital plan of $34.99 or higher to
qualify for a free phone up to a $50 or $100 value
(depending on the monthly access of your plan) or
receive a credit of the same amount towards the
purchase of a more expensive phone. A two-year renewal
is required.

TRON: No.

You: so if i go sign up for a 2 year contract today
with a free phone, i have to wait 2 years to get a
different phone? (sorry if I misunderstand you.)

TRON: Correct.

TRON: Every two year , other than that you will
ahve to pay full price.

You: let’s say i’m willing to pay full price for the
KRZR when it comes out at xmas. that’s ok? i can get
the KRZR then if i pay full price?

TRON: Correct.

You: i have no idea what the KRZR will cost full price
or with a 2 year plan, so let’s use the RAZR as an
example.

You: let’s say i sign up for 2 years and get a free
phone today. but then a month from now i want the
RAZR.

You: would i pay $149.99 for the RAZR (-$50 for online
discount) like I’m seeing on verizonwireless.com ?

TRON: If you were a new two year customer.

You: ok, so by full price you mean the price listed on
the website. that’s ok! :)

TRON: I mean the full retail price which is not on
the site.

You: i was afraid you meant full price would be some
price i can’t even see. like $300 for a RAZR or
something

TRON: Correct.

You: oh! so it *would* be $300 (or whatever). more
than what’s listed on the website

TRON: Correct.

You: boy. that sounds like a pain in my behind. it
sounds like i’d be better off just picking a phone now
that i’ll be happy with for 2 years. or waiting to
sign up for a plan until the KRZR comes out.

TRON: Thank you for visiting Verizon Wireless. Have
a great day!

TRON: Thank you for using our live chat service. We
value your suggestions and would appreciate it if you
would take a few moments to complete a brief survey.
The survey will appear when you click the “Close”
button in the chat window.

Your chat session has been ended by your Verizon
Wireless online agent.