Vertu

  • Vertu Ti shipping, men with small weenies, dried-up crones rejoice

    Vertu Ti shipping, men with small weenies, dried-up crones rejoice


    I’m glad Nokia made the Vertu line. They deserve to have a little fun. But a $7,000 cellphone is just about the upper limit of what I can accept in the luxury market. Dear Oil-rich Sultans and Oligarchs: send me your old Nokia and I’ll dip it in golden paint and send it back to you for $3,500. You’ll get the same effect while spending half of what you’d normally spend on… Read More

  • Vertu Constellation Released In Rose Gold

    Vertu Constellation Released In Rose Gold

    Hey! Need a new phone? Don’t want the iPhone but still wanna flaunt your money? Check out the Vertu Constellation, now in a beautiful rose gold color. It’s available in black leather only, because it’s more special than the regular gold-version. Scratch-resistant and chock full o’ laser-engraved keys, this phone will set you back at least $8000, possibly more… Read More

  • Vertu Gets The 3G, Leather Treatment

    Vertu Gets The 3G, Leather Treatment

    Rollin’ in mah Bentley
    Cruisin down the street
    Got bling on my wrists, ankles
    neck and teeth Got a call on my cellie
    Yo let me show you it
    This Vertu Ascent T
    has gotta be the shit It’s not out yet
    Still with tha FCC
    But I got a unit
    Cause I got 10,000 Gs Read More

  • The 12 Ugliest Gadgets Of All Time

    The 12 Ugliest Gadgets Of All Time


    Some gadgets are good-looking — chances are the look of your cell phone was a major concern when you went shopping. Then again, some gadgets are ugly. Very, very ugly. We’ve found the ugliest gadgets ever made, so you don’t have to. Some you’ve likely seen before, others you thankfully haven’t. Just believe us: You’ll never take your iPod for granted again. Read More

  • Snakes On A Phone: Vertu Cobra

    Snakes On A Phone: Vertu Cobra

    Here’s a riddle for you kiddies. What costs more than a Lamborghini, has a bejeweled snake on it, and is designed for those who need compensation in their nether regions? Give up? It’s the Vertu Cobra! I totally fooled you. The Cobra costs a whopping $310,000 and comes with tons of diamonds, emeralds and an load of rubies. Don’t forget though, this is a Vertu. Which means… Read More

  • Vertu Constellation Reviewed

    Vertu Constellation Reviewed

    The fellows with the fancy-pants over at Sybarites got their hands on a Vertu Constellation for review. If you’re just joining us, the Vertu is a luxury line of phones made by the same people who make you Nokia’s phones…Nokia. So how does this phone stack up? Well, the Nokia S40 UI is similar to other Nokia Symbian OS phones, but is “far superior graphics wise”. Read More

  • Vertu Aerius Bluetooth Headset

    Not content with just overcharging for cell phones, Vertu is expanding into overcharging for Bluetooth headsets as well. Designed by Jacob Jensen, this headset has a push-button answering and calling system, noise reduction, ear hook and leather pouch. No doubt these will work fine with Vertu phones, but they have no problems with regular cell phones that support Bluetooth headsets too. Read More