TechCrunch » ces 2008 wtf

Saddest CES Meatball/Hush Puppy Name Award goes to…

John Biggs — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 14:50:18 +0000

After much deliberation, we have decided to award the best CES Meatball/Hush Puppy Name Award to young Eric for his entry “Danny’s Glans.” While simply saying “Danny Glans” would have been far more comedically valuable, his contribution to our daily lexicon here at the show is immeasurable and simply mentioning Danny Glans in our company wrought gales of laughter and, dare we say it, a tear or two. To that end, we wish to congratulate Mr. Eric and in passing bid Las Vegas a fond, fond “Adieu.”

Runners up included “Cat5 Köttbullar,” “Little John,” and, most tellingly “Slow News Day.” To all those who entered, we salute you.

Ummm… WTF

John Biggs — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 02:03:25 +0000

http://progressive.playstream.com/playstream/progressive/flashplayers/FLVPlayer.swf

LG undouches itself in two short days: The LG Watch/Phone concept photographed

John Biggs — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 01:32:58 +0000

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I’m all for companies protecting their intellectual property and I respect embargoes and NDAs. But when companies hide their precious, yelling at you about taking pictures of things in plain sight it pisses me off. Well, Matt and Devin stopped by the LG booth today and, surprise, the super secret watch was ready for them to photograph. All they created on Monday was bad will and then turned around and let anyone and their dog photograph their gear today. Companies: just relax. You’re at a trade show. Unless you’re the Wu people and infringing massively on copyright, you have nothing to hide. You’re at the biggest show in your industry, CES, and it’s foolish to think you can still control photons.

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The latest craze sweeping the nation: it's the Wü!

Devin Coldewey — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 01:35:12 +0000

No, not the Wii, the Wü. Complete with little dots over the things of the U. This was one of many knock-off games present at CES, and almost certainly the most shameless, unless you count the guys who ripped off both Guitar Hero and Rock Band by offering alternatives for each one, under similarly altered names. The Wü people didn’t really want us to take pictures, but it was too good to pass up. Check out the rest of the pics inside.

Dressing the Magic colthes (TM)

John Biggs — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 23:33:26 +0000

The winner of best Engrish in a CES booth goes to…

CES Today: Will the madness never end?

John Biggs — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 23:22:51 +0000

We’re all a bit hungover today so we’re busy milling around snapping photos of booth babes and finding whatever hidden gems we may have missed over the last few days. In the meantime check out the above video. It basically sums up how we all feel.

CES 2008: Belkin’s Podcast Studio: You know, for podcasters
Look out Eee, a $399 tiny laptop from Everex is afoot
CES 2008: Kevin Costner’s a total rocker!
Optimus Maximus touched at CES

Biggs loves his toys

Peter Ha — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 23:09:13 +0000

I really think there’s something wrong with Biggs. The gallery is clearly evident of that. He randomly sings karaoke and then attempts to kill me with Halo Covenant weapons.

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CES 2008: Odd gear out

John Biggs — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 16:23:23 +0000

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My favorite thing to do at the show is hit the odd retailers who sell the crazy junk we all know and love from Sharper Image, Brookstone, et al along with the stuff that ends up in close-outs. Take this weird blue phone, for example. It’s a mini phone! It’s blue! Doug loves it.

Below find a Crosley (??) commemorative radio with CD player and iPod dock — just like Lindbergh had — and then there’s this ball-shaped iPod dock for the kids branded b2. It’s booths like this one that remind us that CES is basically just a trade fair and that we could just as easily be talking about cattle, wheat, or porn.

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Contest: The saddest CES meatball/hush puppy in the world

John Biggs — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 00:46:09 +0000

Doug and I spotted this forlorn hush puppy/meatball in the CES press room and thought it was the best thing we had seen all day. Granted, we haven’t been drinking and our Danny Gans tickets aren’t until Wednesday. Special bonus: tell us what we should name this thing in comments and one lucky commenter will win a Samsung MP3 player.

Roomba's misshapen cousin shows its face

Devin Coldewey — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 22:59:05 +0000

Somebody call the lawyers — I think they might have messed up on the patent application. Either that or they weren’t the only ones who thought up an AI-navigating, robotic vacuum that moves in expanding spirals. You can tell from the prognathic aspect and heavy epicanthic folds that this little robot is from an earlier, more brutal era.

Duracell now makes SD cards and flash drives, apparently

Devin Coldewey — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 22:37:43 +0000

Passing by a Duracell booth, I had almost skipped it completely but noticed that some of the batteries were small and thin, and said “SD” on them. It turns out that Duracell is lending its brand name to a new set of other small, ubiquitous things. Not sure if you’ll be seeing these in retail any time soon but they looked perfectly sellable.

Jump drives after the, er, jump.

The first thing I see on entering CES' main hall?

John Biggs — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 20:16:10 +0000

Ghosts ‘n’ Goblins, naturally. It was there to show off TI’s DLP projector technology, but durn it if I wasn’t tickled pink.

The CES 2008 WTF file

John Biggs — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 20:02:36 +0000

Listen: covering CES is hard. It’s fun, don’t get me wrong, but it’s exhausting, frustrating, and full of stuff we all have seen already. To that end, we present CES WTF, a way for us, your humble narrators, to blow off some steam. Here are some exciting new WTF posts for you enjoy and you can always view the WTF stories right here.

Bumblebee rocks CES
The LG booth is staffed by douches
Jook

Bumblebee rocks CES

Peter Ha — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 19:36:39 +0000

I think Matt wet himself.

The LG booth is staffed by douches

John Biggs — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 18:31:48 +0000

LG’s exciting new watch concept.

A few douches decided to prevent me from taking pix of the red hot LG watch concept which, as you can imagine, is a watch with a phone in it. Amazing stuff, to be sure, but I got the Sean Penn treatment from a full set of booth douches informing me in no uncertain terms that a device that will never come to market and is already well documented elsewhere is not to be photographed.

Overreaction? Maybe, but this sort of thing happens at almost every show — overzealous little men hiding crap that we have already seen.

Yeah, it’s a watch with a phone in it.

Jook embiggens the common man

John Biggs — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:31:02 +0000

A tampon or the voice of God?
In the darkness of flight, many a thought has come to the refugees streaming across the borders of civil and worldwide strife. In the hours before morning, when the moon is covered o’er by clouds and the guard dog is alert and ready, the victims of war dream of one thing. It is not a clean bed and a bowl of good soup. It is not the sad-eyed embrace of a loved one — a grandmother trapped behind the enemy’s Iron Curtain or a long-lost lover, the dream of “one,” of holding and being held, dashed forever against the rocks of failed politics and the gimlet-eyed heat of madmen bent on destruction and power. They dream of safety, surely. But they also dream of Jook.

What is Jook? It is something you put in or on your MP3 player to broadcast music using some sort of social networking concept. There are three settings — me, for the lonely lovelorn, you, for the pie that has found its missing piece, and us, for the man who knows he is part of something bigger and grander than these four walls and dingy floor can offer.

How does it work, you ask? Your friend has just been trapped under a car. He is wearing his iPod with Jook enabled. You are listening to a song that might give him solace, something by Barry White or the Cold War Kids. You switch your Jook device to You and you stream your music to your friend’s iPod. As the life drains from his eyes and the paramedics tell you the back the fuck up away, the last voice he’ll hear is maybe the guy from the Arctic Monkeys telling him yes, friend, I sincerely believe you look good on the dance floor and yes, my friend, I am with you.

Jook is the voice of G_d in the bush. Jook is the sound of a newborn babe mewling in a manger. Jook is our answer to the unending question: Why are we here? To right injustice? To fight poverty? To bring the world the Good News? The answers are simple. Jook. Jook. Jook. Shantih. Shantih. Shantih.

Product Page

CES 2008: Love in the BLOLGER lounge

John Biggs — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 20:38:23 +0000

See Peter blog. Blog Peter, blog. See Matt Hickey code video. Transcode, Matt, transcode. See Mike Kobrin get made fun of for his name. Cry, Mike Korbin, cry. Feel John’s scratchy meat beard. Funny John! You can’t eat all the cookies at once!

JVC NX-PN7 Dual iPod Dock

John Biggs — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 18:17:04 +0000

Product Name: JVC NX-PN7 Dual iPod Dock
Description: A dual ipod dock that holds two iPods. That’s right. Two iPods. Let’s say it again: Two. i. Pods.

Price: $149.95.
In-store date: Available April 2008.
Site: JVC.com
Why it’s cool: Ummm… it’s an iPod dock that holds two iPods. DURRR! It doesn’t even look like you can make mad hot trance remixes with this, so you see our problem with this.

Vestalife Ladybug: A thing to put your iPod into

John Biggs — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 02:33:36 +0000

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Tweens will be pleased by the Vestalife Ladybug, wee speaker system that closes up into a sexy little ball. Not to be outdone, the Butterfly has a removable faceplate and made me cry.