Gadgets be damned for fifteen minutes, this is real news! Mother’s Cookies – makers of those delicious, delicious frosted Circus Animal Cookies – is going out of business, citing “rising prices for raw materials and fuel,” according to the San Francisco Examiner. This poor economy bullshit is starting to hit me where it hurts; the stomach. Mother’s Cookies started in Oakland in 1914 as… → Read More
Sad news, folks. Manny, a dog trained to sniff out pirated DVDs, has died in Malaysia. The AP is reporting that the dog “died of an unknown cause” and that Malaysian authorities don’t suspect foul play, but then added that two other dogs that helped uncover 1.6 million pirated DVDs last year “reportedly caused movie pirates to place a bounty on their heads.” I’m no cop but there’s… → Read More
Apparently you can fit animals with all sorts of prosthetics these days. Take this dolphin, which got its tail caught in a crab trap two years ago. For two years the dolphin, Winter, couldn’t swim. Now, however! The artificial tail took several months to complete, but now Winter is almost good as new. Why do I bring this up? Because it’s science-related and everyone loves dolphins. No… → Read More
[photopress:fuzzygoatttt.jpg,full,center] If Joel can’t figure out what this fuzzy goat thing is all about, how can you expect me, Nicholas, to? It sorta reminds me of those old Da Vinci drawings of a helicopter. Nearest I can tell, it’s some sort of [fuzzy] goat manipulation device. Be weary of female goats, however, for “the female of the species is more deadly than the… → Read More
If you like to pump your music from your iPod for all to hear, and you like to be cruel to animals with seven seconds of memory, have we got the device for you. Meet the iPond, the real-life speaker/aquariam combo that has animal’s rights do-gooders up in arms. Er, fins, or whatever you get up-in for fish. The claim is that the aquarium is up to fifteen times smaller than the fish requires… → Read More
Former Colbert Report — they’re technically former until Sumner Redstone’s distended syphilitic heart explodes, releasing billions in online revenue back into the economy at large — have new allies. Yes, friends, small animals emoting will no longer support mainstream media. → Read More
I live in an earthquake zone. It is called Seattle. We don’t have many rumblers here, but when we do, they’re pretty serious. Just a few years ago the mighty Nisqually quake dropped the block my apartment was on six inches. The whole block. Were the quake any harder, the building might have come down around me. If I didn’t die, I’d likely be trapped, as that building was… → Read More
Waiting for the American justice system to run its course can be boring and tedious. If you’re looking for a little something to do while you wait, why not buy your dog a Michael Vick chew toy? It runs for $12.99 (shipped) and the proceeds will apparently be donated to local animal shelters. Unfortunately, it’s claimed to be very durable. Michael Vick Dog Chew Toy [VickDogChewToy.com] → Read More
Oh my. What do we have here? Could it be a Weiner Dog Accent Lamp that compliments the coffee table perfectly? Could be! It looks like a dog, but it’s really a lamp with a beautiful amber glow! It’ll look perfect next to my Labrador Cigar Cutter. Want to get your weiner on or know someone with a bunch of dachshunds? It’ll set you back $50 and a slice of your pride. Wiener Dog… → Read More
Everyone’s favorite animatronic dinosaur is now one step closer to invading our shores. Pleo’s manufacturer UGOBE is taking pre-orders for the dinosaur and the price isn’t cheap. After earlier reports that Pleo would cost somewhere between $250 and $300, UGOBE has pulled a Nintendo and decided to charge $350 for the lil’ guy. Talk about highway robbery. Don’t get too… → Read More
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