As Nokia struggles to establish itself as a worthy competitor to Apple and the Android bulldozer in the smartphone segment, the company is looking to sell off its wholly-owned luxury phone brand Vertu, reports the Financial Times.

Vertu, which sells some of the world’s most expensive ugly phones, was originally started by Nokia back in 1998.

Perhaps surprisingly, its business of selling mobile phones – which are priced higher than your average house or Ferrari sports car – has actually proved to be a good one, with annual revenue estimated to be between $268 million and $402 million.

Vertu’s luxury handsets are available for purchase in more than 60 countries, some with dedicated shops. The phones come with a “concierge” button that lets owners easily to speed dial a team of personal assistants to make all sorts of arrangements and reservations.

Other associated services include Vertu City Brief, a series of independent, curated guides to 200 cities around the world, and Vertu.me, an exclusive email account that enables a user’s phone emails, calendar and contacts to be backed up to “ultra-secure Vertu servers”.

According to the FT, Nokia has appointed Goldman Sachs to oversee the sale of Vertu, which may potentially be interesting to luxury goods brands and private equity firms.

That was a long sayonara: in November 2008, Nokia decided to pull the plug on their Japan operations, at the same time announcing they will re-enter the market with their luxury sub-brand Vertu. They started offering those phones (and the services that come with them) in September 2009, but now decided to give up on this business in Japan, too.

Nokia had been operating two Vertu stores in Japan, one in trendy Shibuya, the other in the upscale district of Ginza. But now the company can’t get out of the country soon enough: both stores will close by the end of this month, just before the contract with local partner NTT Docomo expires in August.

Nokia’s Tokyo office will stay open until the end of the year to take care of refunds and other things, as Japanese business daily The Nikkei has learned over the weekend.

I called Nokia’s Vertu plans in Japan “nonsense” in 2009 already, and especially in the light of the smartphone boom this country is currently seeing, no one can be surprised about big N’s decision.

Got $310,000 to spend on a phone like the Vertu Signature Cobra? No? Hm. How about $83,000, for the Vertu Signature Diamond. Still no? Well, crap. Oh! Okay, here: how about somewhere between $4,000 and $7,000 for the new Vertu Constellation Quest? That’s totally reasonable, right?

Not feelin’ it? Check out the video after the jump. In just two minutes, Vertu will fully convince you as to why you should drop the cash for their $6,000 phone over say, any thing reasonable and not-totally-ridiculous. Or maybe not.

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“Any other luxury category, whether it’s cars, watches, handbags, fashion… it’s all about beauty and an emotional value. It’s for people who want to express their lifestyle, their success, have a high appreciation of the beautiful materials and experience. Thats the same for Vertu.”

The problem: in most other luxury categories, the luxury item in question does everything the top-of-the-line non-luxury items do — just better (or at the very least, on par.) Luxury sports cars have the speed; luxury bags carry items just as well, but whilst boasting some ridiculous brand. Vertu phones? Yeaaah.. given the few passing glimpses we’ve had at handsets like the Constellation Axyta or the Ascent, the software experience seems more on par with entry-level featurephones than anything coming out of the likes of Apple or HTC in the past few months.

It’d be like selling a Ferrari with the engine of a Kia Spectra.

[Video via BGR]

Nokia pulled out of Japan, one of the world’s biggest mobile markets, as early as November 2008. But because this country is quite wealthy, the Finnish company decided to conquer Japan with their luxury brand Vertu [JP], starting operations in September 2009. Initially the plan was to market handsets priced between $16,000 and $50,000.

But today Vertu Japan announced a “golden” handset with a price tag of 20 million yen (it’s made-in-Japan gold lacquerwork, to be more exact). That’s $215,000, with the price including free domestic calls. Buyers will be able to choose between four equally priced models: Kinko (pictured above), Kikusui, Nanten and Daigo (pictured below). The different designs stand for the different seasons of the year.

The occasion for these super-limited editions is the first anniversary of Vertu’s flagship store in Ginza, Tokyo next month. Vertu plans to sell just four of these handsets worldwide (more pictures over at Keitai Watch).

Via Keitai Watch [JP]

Vertu, French for “virtue,” has a pink phone just in time for Valentine’s Day. It’s the Constellation Ayxt, only it’s pink. Fascinating.

There’s really not too much to say about the phone. It originally launched late last year, and it’s Vertu’s first “fold phone,” which surely must impress those of you living in the year 2006.

I’m going to venture a guess: if you buy your lady friend a pink phone for Valentine’s Day, you’re probably a jerk.

You know the Vertu phones, right? The over-priced Nokias sold in watch stores and casinos? Well, soon there will be over-priced accessories sold along side them in a pen, Bluetooth headset, and microSD card reader. How fun. Your next date will be so impressed.

Not that it really matters that much, but the prices haven’t been released yet. It’s not like anyone out there will really buy this crap. At least I hope no one out there does. Buying ten iPod soccer speaker docks is a better use of the money. But whatevs, your grandfather who worked so hard for your trust fund will be glad to see you’re using the cash wisely. [via ubergizmo]

Japan is a tough market to crack for many non-Japanese cell phone makers, and even the world’s leading cell phone maker, Nokia, had to give up its Japan operations after having failed to gain a foothold in this country (in November last year). But they’re trying again, this time with their luxury brand Vertu.

Being a Japanese VERTU CLUB subscriber includes a number of perks. Users can call up a concierge who takes care of things like restaurant or hotel reservations 24 hours a day, for example (in either English or Japanese). Another service, dubbed Fortress, makes it possible to store data like phone numbers or addresses on servers operated in an underground bunker in the UK.

The price for this nonsense: $560 monthly, but you can make 20 hours of domestic calls for free. I can’t see Nokia going anywhere with this, especially not in this economy, but I could be wrong.

Apparently this phone is getting ready for a big Muay Thai match. It’s a Vertu—“vertu” is “virture” in French!—designed by one Norihiko Inoue. No, you cannot buy it, I just thought it looked neat.

If you look closely, you’ll notice that the phone is mostly air, like a building. Says the designer:

Thanks to the advances in technology mobile phones are getting smaller and thinner each year, however phones have to be a certain size for us to hold them and look at the screen properly. In my concept most of the electronic components are incorporated into the phone’s outer shell, but the size of the vertu phone remains the same size as it is now with empty space inside.

I think it’s safe to say that I’d much rather use this than a now-boring iPhone.

In November 2008, Nokia gave up Japan (where its market share hovered around a mere one percent for years) but now comes back with Vertu Japan [JP], its luxury brand. Vertu today opened a flagship store in Ginza, Tokyo’s upmarket area.

And the store looks absolutely great, both from the out- and inside. Customers can decide on three floors on which handset they want to spend too much money on. Each floor is devoted to the three Vertu handset lines available (Ferrari, Ascent and Signature). One floor even has a private lounge.

Decadent but cool. The only problem is Vertu will fail anyway.

Via IT Media [JP]

Ah, Russia. Home to a well-olied kleptocracy, Andrei Arshavin and, apparently, incredibly wealthy people who don’t know what to do with their money. (See: Roman Abramovich et al.) As such, we really shouldn’t be too surprised to see this new Vertu cellphone on a Russian luxury blog.

As you can see, it, the Vertu Boucheron 150, looks just like that other Vertu luxury phone, but this one supposedly has 3G connectivity. (Our cup runneth over!) It’s also rumored to cost something like $30,000, which is not even a week’s wages for certain footballers.

I don’t know, I’d complain about the unnecessary luxury of this, but the fact is there are people who buy things like this all the time, so good for Vertu for finding its niche. Meanwhile, I’m still buzzing along with a 2006 model piece of junk phone, so there’s that.

via Unwired View

Nokia, the world’s leading mobile phone maker, announced it would stop selling and marketing its handsets in Japan because the market share remained flat over too many years (hovering at around 1% vs. around 38% worldwide).

One of Nokia’s vice presidents said: “In the current global economic climate, we have concluded that the continuation of our investment in Japan-specific product variants is no longer sustainable.” They are right. Now is the right time to pull out of Japan without losing too much face.

And Nokia is very successful in China and India so they might not need the Japanese market at all (the plan to enter Nippon with their Vertu brand will not be abandoned). The company sold 38.5 million handsets in China in the first six months of this year alone.

Japan has always been a tough market crack for Nokia, the world’s biggest cell phone manufacturer. While the Finnish company boasts a 40 percent share of global handset sales, this figure has been steady at about 1 percent in Japan.

Now it has come to light that Nokia plans to launch an MVNO with Nippon’s No. 1 cell phone carrier Docomo starting in either February or March next year. Nokia will reportedly try to win in Japan via its Vertu brand of super-expensive phones. The company is planning to sell handsets priced between $16,000 and $50,000.

Although Japan is not as heavily affected by the current economic crisis as the USA, for example, Nokia’s move is a good example for poor timing. On top of that, the market for cell phones in Japan as a whole has been considerably shrinking in recent months.

I am not sure what Nokia’s final goal is here but they can’t expect to grow their market share by selling Vertu phones, not even in luxury-crazy and “rich” Japan. In case Japanese people want to stand out using “unusual” cell phones (of all things), they can get the iPhone or handsets like this one. Skimming the segment of super-rich cell phone users might not be enough to improve Nokia’s situation in Japan.

In this economy, nothing says “I got bailed out” like a Vertu Constellation covered with diamonds. This beautiful cellphone is perfect for calling up old Lehman CEOs to plan a quick golf game and long hunting trips with AIG execs. Priced at who-the-frak-cares, this phone is the piece d’resistance of douchery.

Get the white gold version for him and the yellow gold for her. You’ll thank us.

I’ve never been more in agreement with Wired than I am at this very moment. "Everything here is a crap gadget with diamonds glued on it," says Rob Beschizza in his post called The Worst Diamond-Encrusted Gadgets Of All Time. I’d go a step further and make the claim that diamonds don’t belong anywhere near gadgets. Let the gadget itself do the talking. If it’s cool, all the diamonds in the world won’t give it an ounce of extra oomph.

There are some real gems here, pardon the pun. The Vertu cell phone, a ridiculous looking Game Boy, an MP3 player for dogs (?), a couple of stupid-looking iPod Shuffles, and more. Great read. Click below for the full article.

The Worst Diamond-Encrusted Gadgets Of All Time [Wired]

This is a bit off-topic, but it has quite a bit to do with electronics and boutique home audio so let’s begin. Luxury items have always been status symbols and, increasingly, commodity products. This nasty mix creates a drive to sell more product at luxury prices, which is good for the companies but not so good for the consumer.

Dana Thomas’ book, Deluxe claws at — but can probably never rip off — the facade of luxury houses. While many of us desire Coach bags and, dare I say it, fancy watches, these items more often than not are avatars of shoddy workmanship and the product of market forces that pull on Wal-mart rather than the House of Chanel.

There are a number of famous brands that are purported to hold a rare and privileged pedigree that are now being churned out en masse in China. This is fine — fools and money, etc. — but in order to continue at this pace, companies have to constantly lie to us about the history and rarity of their items, a losing game by any measure.

While there are some luxury items that are hand made and reflect a sort of “old world” aesthetic not found anymore, devices like the Vertu and most high-end, non custom audio gear (Pear Cables, anyone?) is more smoke and mirrors than anything else. I love me some fancy watches, but I know what to stay away from (avoid fashion house watches in general and expensive non-techie quartz watches as a rule) and accept my fate as a luxury dupe. However, I think it gets more nefarious when companies like Prada and conglomerates like LVMH work harder at maintaining an image than at making a quality product.

Book page via Asia Access

Vertu Ascent Ti hitting stores next month [LuxuryLaunches]

Hey! Need a new phone? Don’t want the iPhone but still wanna flaunt your money? Check out the Vertu Constellation, now in a beautiful rose gold color. It’s available in black leather only, because it’s more special than the regular gold-version. Scratch-resistant and chock full o’ laser-engraved keys, this phone will set you back at least $8000, possibly more since it’s a limited-edition coloring.

Vertu Constellation Released In Rose Gold [Sybarites]

Rollin’ in mah Bentley
Cruisin down the street
Got bling on my wrists, ankles
neck and teeth

Got a call on my cellie
Yo let me show you it
This Vertu Ascent T
has gotta be the shit

It’s not out yet
Still with tha FCC
But I got a unit
Cause I got 10,000 Gs

Lots of features
Like a scratch-proof LCD
UMTS Internet
Yeah, I love me some 3G

Back of tha phone
Got a hot leather touch
Brown leather with a logo
Maybe it’s too much?

Top rockin’ all the time
With a Series 40 OS
With a 3-megapixel camera
Your photos be da best

No price has been announced
But you can bet its really high
Now my rap is over
So I’m gonna say goodbye.

Chika, chika via Crave yo!

Then again, some gadgets are ugly. Very, very ugly. We’ve found the ugliest gadgets ever made, so you don’t have to. Some you’ve likely seen before, others you thankfully haven’t. Just believe us: You’ll never take your iPod for granted again.

Vertu Signature Cobra

The fact that the price tag ($310,000… yes that’s a comma and not a period) isn’t the ugliest part of this phone should tell you plenty. Just spend a few seconds admiring the ruby-studded “Mug Me” snake glued to the phone. Thankfully, they only produced 8 of these. Meaning your chances of running into one are about as good as a slurp-ready Zune to play with in the wild.

Oakley O-ROKR/Thump

Oakley and Motorola tag-teamed for this case of misguided digital/optical convergence. Even with all of their practical shortcomings aside (imagine the decision you have to make when driving at night: do I keep my sunglasses on and drive nearly-blind, or risk getting a ticket for holding my phone?), these things are just plain hideous. These look like something a 7-year-old boy would think looks “cool”, and basically scream “I demand attention!”

Nokia N-Gage:

One word: ChocoTaco

Indicatear

You know when you’re running and you’re in The Zone and you absolutely positively can’t take a second to make it clear to anybody around you what direction you’re about to turn lest it ruin your perfect gait? Wouldn’t it be great if your head had built-in turn signals?

Ministry of Gadgets

Bang&Olufsen/Samsung Serene

At first glance, it looks like you’re holding a birth control compact to your head. At second glance, people realize you spent too much on an ugly phone.

XACT XQ2500

This wireless headset (it may look Bluetoothy, but it’s all landline, baby) packs the number pad into the earlobe-sized side. The end result sort of looks like the skeleton part one of those cross-section anatomy books that show what your insides look like. And each bone is numbered.

(via OhGizmo)

BusLink iBot Mp3 Video Player w/ Speaker

It’s easy to forget that steampunk-inspired gadgets usually look neat.

(Amazon page)

Techno Privacy Scarf

You know those old-time cameras that featured massive hoods that completely covered their operator? Well once a product shrinks enough to become mobile, that concept rapidly changes from necessary to stupid to dangerous to absolutely hilarious.

(via TechEBlog)

Ristretto coffee mouse

I don’t know about you, but the last thing I want to fondle all day is a mouse that looks like nutty stools.

Toshiba Bubble Helmet

360-degree immersion in Halo may sound cool, but balancing six pounds of Space Balls-chic hideousness on your head ain’t.

(via TechEBlog)

LED Pong Hat

If you’re going to stick an old-school video game on the front of a hat that looks like it was pulled from the streets of Moscow, the least you can do is make it Tetris.

Flower Power iMac 2001

There’s a reason your MacBook only comes in black and white.

Here’s a riddle for you kiddies. What costs more than a Lamborghini, has a bejeweled snake on it, and is designed for those who need compensation in their nether regions? Give up?

It’s the Vertu Cobra! I totally fooled you. The Cobra costs a whopping $310,000 and comes with tons of diamonds, emeralds and an load of rubies.

Don’t forget though, this is a Vertu. Which means it’s not feature-rich, comes with no kind of cool tech stuff, and you’re screwed if you lose it. You’ll be able to find the Cobra in Us Weekly, InTouch, and other tabloids that feature Paris Hilton.

Vertu Cobra $310,000 Cellphone: Features Justify The Price? [Gizmodo]