I’m a DIY kind of guy. I feel that doctors are at best overpriced handymen whose skills and experience count for little when it comes to understanding my body. Hey, it’s my body, right? I should be able to figure out what’s wrong!

It follows then, that I may want a USB endoscope in order to examine my innards and assess the damage done by various drugs, objects, and substances I’ve ingested, including 77 zipper teeth that I pulled off of my winter coat one afternoon when I was hiding the the park waiting for girls. When I saw that Brando was selling an endoscope for a mere $44, I was about to jump but I was quickly thwarted. Sadly, I won’t be able to view myself from either end today or any other day, for this endoscope is only for “sewers, water pool or drains.”

While I feel that this endoscope is perfect for the aforementioned sewers, water pool, and drains, don’t you think that a little Vaseline and some luck could make this an excellent medical device? Come on, Brando! Think outside the water pool!

Anyway, it’s available now. I guess I’ll have to keep using my hand to figure out what’s going on in there.

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3D Video: Left and Right 3D video format (H.264 / AVI and other mainstream encoding format), need to add the file name in front of “[3D].”

It has 4GB on-board storage, an SD card slot, and a 8-inch 1280×768 lenticular display. While I doubt it will look as exciting as the above image demonstrates, I suppose it’s a nice way to get some 3D action in of an evening.

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Let’s Check More Fun for Daily Life!! Crapgadget vendor Brando is really selling this horrible umbrella. It includes a sleeve and the admit that “colors may be variant” but that shouldn’t stop you from bringing this umbrella to your local police station for a bit of suicide by cop thanks to the front stock and rifle barrel tip.

It comes in two sizes, but you’re going to want the bigger one for $28.

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This Brando USB key has a unique “lock shape design” and comes in multiple sizes. It is “Portable and easy operation” and the USB key pops out of the bottom like a wee tail.

It maxes out at $34 for 8GB. Not sure why you’d want it. It just looks so ridiculous I thought you’d all enjoy it.

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Brando has, for your edification, a tiny, eeny, weeny, beeny wireless router for traveling. Priced at $45, this tiny 802.11n router is just 1 cm tall and 6 cm long. It supports just about every standard under the sun and can even clone MAC addresses for those who, umm, would want to do that?

The EagleTec Nano Size Wireless N-Router is a portable wireless-N Router with up to 150 Mbps in 2.4 GHz band, which is also compatible with IEEE 802.11b/g wireless devices. The router allows multiple users to share one broadband connection, as well as secures your private network. Support auto device IP assignment to make the plug and play for travel application. The hardware slide switch selects Router, AP and WISP (client) modes. To provide a secure wireless network, the router supports wireless data encryption with 64/128-bit WEP, WPA and WPA2. Network Address Translation (NAT) Firewall is also support to shield your communications and network from hackers and wireless eavesdroppers.

I actually just bought one of these for those rare occasions when I have to connect my computers and various iP[ads|hones] and all that’s available is a frayed Ethernet cable.

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Say, for example, you’re a self-styled office despot. Grown men fear you, women are in awe of your power, and children cower at your feet (all of this is in your head and your co-workers actually hate you, but pay that no mind). What can you do to add that delicate touch of insanity to your already vicious reign? Desk mounted ordnance, that’s what.

That’s where the $39 Brando USB Thunder Missile Launcher comes in. Sadly, these little missiles carry no payload except your dignity but they do add some wild audio effects to your already insane sense of self worth. Not only are you a god, you are also annoyingly armed.

Features:
Contains 4 foam missiles
Powered by USB
Software with optional sound effects and left, right, up and down control capabilities
Compatible with Windows 7/ Vista / XP SP2 or later
Dimension: 170 x 90 x 125mm (approx.)
Weight: 354g

Sadly, there’s no OS X support, which is odd because most desktop despots probably use a Mac.

http://usb.brando.com/prod_img/thumb/flvplayer.swf

Want to control your devices from afar with something that looks like a mini-Blackberry? Want it to have a crazy name like iPazzPort? Man, today is lucky Friday because that’s what this thing is. Ready to have your mind blown? This thing also has a laser pointer! Want to pay only $43? Click on, McDuff!

53 keys handheld style keyboard with Touchpad
Backlight keyboard for convenient operation in darkness
Built-in laser pointer
Built-in rechargeable battery
On/Off switch
Operating Frequency: 2.4 DSSS Radio Transceiver
Operating Distance: 10 meters
Support Window 7 / Vista / XP, Mac OS X, Linux
Dimension: 60 x 100 x 10mm (approx.) (for Keyboard)
Weight: 44g

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Looking for an iPad case that also has a built-in keyboard? Check out this case from Brando. The keyboard runs through Bluetooth and has a built-in lithium battery that lasts about a week and stands-by for 100 days. The keyboard can be removed and used up to 10 meters away.

The case is made of high-quality leather and claims to be “Soft, waterproof and space saving.” Preorders are going on now for $69.99 at Brando’s website. Shipping the beginning of October.

I was about to open a can of Samhain on this Brando Bluetooth keyboard until I saw what it looked like backlit. BAM! Great freaking pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

It’s $36 and works with iPad and iPhone as well as all other Bluetooth things.

54 keys handheld style keyboard
Built-in Multimedia hot keys
Slim body that save working place
Backlight keyboard for convenient operation in darkness
Bluetooth Standard: Bluetooth V2.0; HID V1.0
Built-in rechargeable battery
On/Off button
iPad / iPad 3G / iPhone 4, iPhone 3Gs and iPhone 3G with iOS4

Brando has four different models available: the fierce T. Rex, the flighty Pterodactyl, the gentle Diplodocus, and the horny Triceratops. Prices range from $58 for the T. Rex, to $24.90 for the Triceratops. Some assembly is required of course, and the light bulb is not included with the model. Rawr.

Check out this new folding keyboard from Brando. It uses Bluetooth to connect to your favorite devices – even iPad and iPhone 4.

The slim, water resistant and dustproof keyboard made of a high quality silicone material, contains a built-in rechargeable battery, making it a very portable peripheral that can used almost anywhere. Expect this to be one of the quietest portable keyboards around; when you’re done, just quietly and neatly fold it up into a smaller package, and go.

Only $40 and available now.

Oh, Brando, is there anything you can’t sell? This $18 USB device is basically a little mailbox that lights up when your friends email you. Why? Who cares! It’s $18!

The USB Mail Box Friends Alert connects to your Facebook, Twitter and webmail/email account when you cannot, and let’s you know what is going on! It supports Facebook, Twitter, gmail, yahoo, outlook, outlook express, Windows Live, Live Mail and POP3 account and it works in the background to inform you every time you receive a Tweets, Facebook feeds and emails! In addition, every new mail, Tweet and Facebook feed will be illuminated soft light and associated with a sound.

Note that last line (“In addition, every new mail, Tweet and Facebook feed will be illuminated soft light and associated with a sound.”). That sounds like a freaking blast.

The hub is your normal star-shaped model with four ports wrapping a round hub and a series of indicator lights up top. It supports both USB 3.0 and USB 2.0. $48.

The USB 3.0 to Dual SATA Cable offers to support two SATA 3.0 hard drives on one USB 3.0 cable. Kind of self-explanatory, but still no less awesomely useful. $36.

So yeah, it’s a flash drive that has a bottle opener built in. Tits.

It’s not the best priced flash drive on the market with the 2GB costing $19, 4GB $22, and 8GB $33, but it diffently is one of the most feature-filled options we’ve seen. Forget about built-in backup software and 256-bit encryption, this Brando drive knows what’s up. Brando

USB Chicken Burger 4-Port Hub allows you to connect 4 different USB devices. It’s another little fancy stuff on your desk.

What, no Double Down?

via Brando

Dear Friend,

Is you rear constantly getting sweaty? Do you leave wet spots on your seat cushion? Is it embarrassing? Well then, do I have a product for you.

Brando, maker of everything that’s right in this world, is now selling a cooling pad that’s USB-powered. That’s right, you read that right. It’s powered by USB even though your iPad isn’t. All this butt-cooling goodness can be yours for only $25 plus shipping. So do the right thing and put a stop to your embarrassing glandual problem with this pink and orange cooling pad.

The promises Brando makes about the “Rii Mini Wireless Keyboard” make it sound like a hug wrapped in hot chocolate wrapped in a puppy. There’s the “dazzling bright LED” backlighting, the world’s first touchpad that can be used in both the horizontal and vertical positions complete with advanced “capacitive sensing technology, comparable to a real notebook touchpad,” and the “innovative design of the navigation keys” that’ll make you “feel the thrill” of being able to play games wirelessly.

And if you’re sitting here thinking that the combination of a keyboard, mouse, and laser pointer would make for the perfect presentational tool, Brando’s got you covered:

“Keyboard, mouse, presenter trinity, three-dimensional presentation, more vivid!”

There’s a lithium ion battery good for an entire “mouth” (yes, mouth) of use, the USB receiver stows into the backside of the remote, and the wireless range apparently reaches up to about 100 feet. It’ll cost you $92 for “iPhone style craft, classic style.”

Rii Mini Wireless Keyboard [Brando]

Brando presents us with the Buffalo USB Nintendo PC Game Pad. Priced at $22 plus $3 shipping, it’s a somewhat enticing purchase given the fact that it’s made by a pretty well known company as opposed to other more gray-market Nintendo USB gamepads.

This one’s about the size of your favorite old-school NES controller but you get a few extra buttons beyond A, B, Select, and Start. There are two shoulder buttons, X and Y buttons, and Turbo/Clear buttons. The shoulder and X/Y buttons, especially, ought to lend themselves nicely to some Super Nintendo emulation on top of NES emulation.

Buffalo USB Nintendo PC Game Pad [Brando]

If the $180 price tag of Logitech’s diNovo Edge wireless keyboard is a bit too high to stomach, Brando will sell you an $86 knockoff. It’s called the “Rapoo 2900,” which has to be one of the worst product names in the history of consumer electronics.

The actual keyboard almost looks like a Sony notebook keyboard from a few years ago. This one’s got a built-in touchpad, though, and a rechargeable lithium-ion battery and docking system that looks eerily similar to Logitech’s offering.

It should be noted that this is not exactly a full-size desktop keyboard, as seen compared to a regular keyboard:

The end result is a keyboard that’s less than a quarter-inch thick and weighs about a half a pound for relatively easy portability.

Rapoo 2900 Touch Slim Wireless Keyboard with Touchpad [Brando]