23 Weird Things I Found In The Writers’ Section Of TechCrunch’s SF Office

The TechCrunch office is quite nice. Except for the area reserved for writers, as we’re a messy bunch that apparently loves working in squalor. Creative juices and all that.

Here are a number of things that I found during a quick perusal around the digs today that probably should either be in the trash or just not here. Hello from San Francisco.

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What Is This? A Cart For Mice?

We have a tiny shopping cart. Because why not.

Pip Pip Pop

Who doesn’t want their face on a Ping-Pong paddle? Also, Ping-Pong is for nerds.

Bottoms -> ^

I doff my cap to whomever made these. doffs

Oh God, They're Multiplying

No further comment, your honor.

Yes, Of Course You Can Have Some

I was told that this is some sort of ancient recipe that, it is said among certain hereditary journalistic clans, increases productivity.

Blue Thing

This 8 ball once told me that I was fired. #NotATrueStory

Probably Some Sort Of Copyright Infringement

This holds candy. Because Tetris. Brilliant. #Disruption

Personal Nap Pod

They actually made these. We have one. And you are jealous.

Can I Borrow A Small Rock?

I think this is part of our Late 2013 Skirmish With CrunchBase Over Who Eats All The Food.

Luddite-Ville

This is part of the TechCrunch museum collection. Did you know that telephones once had cords? (It’s that round snaky thingie attached to the cell phone in the image.)

@WhoTheHellIsThis?

Can we fire this guy already?

You Are Now Safe

Apparently the Hero That TechCrunch Needs is about as big as a large bean.

Rub My Back And I'll Loofa Your Chest

We don’t have a shower in the office, but if we do in the future, we’ll be ready.

Because Pottery

I can’t even. Tiny elephant!

Hydration Therapy

Apparently AOL is still alive as a water bottle-manufacturing company. I thought it died in the ’90s?

God-Tier Nerf Gun

You can shoot people from a pretty good distance with this one. Pew pew, motherfuckers.

All Purple, Go Seattle

Some cranky old man sent us a book. People are always sending us books. There are piles of them around the place.

Home Grown!

This empty bottle symbolizes why you still feel bad after you misspell a headline and it gets tweeted out to a few million people.

#SWAG

I thought this company died?

Okay This One Kinda Makes Sense

Admit it, you’re jealous.

Free Book

Someone mailed me this book. I think it’s an elaborate subtweet.

Contract-A-Ball

The office dogs probably should have this, not the office humans.