23 Weird Things I Found In The Writers’ Section Of TechCrunch’s SF Office

The TechCrunch office is quite nice. Except for the area reserved for writers, as we’re a messy bunch that apparently loves working in squalor. Creative juices and all that.

Here are a number of things that I found during a quick perusal around the digs today that probably should either be in the trash or just not here. Hello from San Francisco.

What Is This? A Cart For Mice?

We have a tiny shopping cart. Because why not.

Pip Pip Pop

Who doesn’t want their face on a Ping-Pong paddle? Also, Ping-Pong is for nerds.

Bottoms -> ^

I doff my cap to whomever made these. doffs

Oh God, They're Multiplying

No further comment, your honor.

Yes, Of Course You Can Have Some

I was told that this is some sort of ancient recipe that, it is said among certain hereditary journalistic clans, increases productivity.

Blue Thing

This 8 ball once told me that I was fired. #NotATrueStory

Probably Some Sort Of Copyright Infringement

This holds candy. Because Tetris. Brilliant. #Disruption

Personal Nap Pod

They actually made these. We have one. And you are jealous.

Can I Borrow A Small Rock?

I think this is part of our Late 2013 Skirmish With CrunchBase Over Who Eats All The Food.


This is part of the TechCrunch museum collection. Did you know that telephones once had cords? (It’s that round snaky thingie attached to the cell phone in the image.)


Can we fire this guy already?

You Are Now Safe

Apparently the Hero That TechCrunch Needs is about as big as a large bean.

Rub My Back And I'll Loofa Your Chest

We don’t have a shower in the office, but if we do in the future, we’ll be ready.

Because Pottery

I can’t even. Tiny elephant!

Hydration Therapy

Apparently AOL is still alive as a water bottle-manufacturing company. I thought it died in the ’90s?

God-Tier Nerf Gun

You can shoot people from a pretty good distance with this one. Pew pew, motherfuckers.

All Purple, Go Seattle

Some cranky old man sent us a book. People are always sending us books. There are piles of them around the place.

Home Grown!

This empty bottle symbolizes why you still feel bad after you misspell a headline and it gets tweeted out to a few million people.


I thought this company died?

Okay This One Kinda Makes Sense

Admit it, you’re jealous.

Free Book

Someone mailed me this book. I think it’s an elaborate subtweet.


The office dogs probably should have this, not the office humans.