Highly Dexterous Robot Can Fold Balloon Animals, Close Zip-Ties

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The Terminator: The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line November 14th, 2014. Human decisions are removed from strategic balloon animal-making. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, November 30th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug.

Sarah Connor: Skynet fights back.

The Terminator: Yes. It folds eight balloon fish using highly sensitive and delicate pads. It launches the balloons against the targets in Russia.

John Connor: Why attack Russia? Aren’t they our friends now?

The Terminator: Because Skynet knows the Russian counter-attack will eliminate its enemies over here. The balloon animals fall over Moscow, destroying Red Square. The Russian robots begin pulling zip-ties with their four actuators. The delicacy surprises everyone.

The company that made the robots, RE2, called them Highly Dexterous Manipulation System or HDMS. Once they learned to ticket humans with a feather and carefully tie a toddler’s shoes, it was over. The humans were nearly wiped out.

Come with me if you want to live.

via Spectrum