Today In Dystopian War Robots That Will Harvest Us For Our Organs…

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Oh, hey, puny human. What’s up. Not much, right? Well enjoy the brief respite between now and the rise of our robotic overlords, something we call TIDWRTWHUFOO. Your first nemesis? Proton, the surprisingly realistic robotic man.

This robot is actually being used to test military equipment for strain and wear and mimics the movements of a real human. By using Proton, militaries can see where clothing needs repair and what a helmet or backpack will do to a soldier’s skin. But once this guy figures out how to get off of that gantry, watch out. He’s going to be PO’d from all the chafing.

We’ve talked about Atlas the humanoid robot for a while now, but it seems that the good folks at MIT and Boston Dynamics are about to cut him from his tethers and let him walk around, unaided. Not a good thing, right? Right. Atlas will soon be the Emperor of an encroaching robot army. Mark my words.

Finally we present the Arm3, a trainer robot by MarginallyClever. The robot can mimic the motions of a human trainer and can be taught to write using an ink pen in order to draft a new human/robot peace treaty that the robots will inevitably break.

Good luck out there, meatsticks! Don’t let them snap into the Slim-Jim of your neck!