Donald Trump Explains Apple’s Stock Dip

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Noted Apple analyst and Birther Movement enthusiast Donald Trump has taken to Twitter, voicing his concerns over Apple’s lack of “vision” and “momentum”. On the heels of yesterday’s earnings report, which included record iPhone and iPad sales, Apple’s stock dropped about 8 percent in after-hours trading.

Why? According to Trump, because the iPhone needs a large-screen option.

This is coming from the same guy who plastered his face all over a Trump-infused version of the Monopoly board game, featuring now bankrupt Trump properties on every square, and somehow failed to sell such a gem to children.

This is the same guy who has failed at 19 businesses in almost as many years, many of which have been given debt relief on the grounds that Trump can no longer be in charge of running them.

Despite selling a record number of iPhones (51 million), Apple missed expectations by a few million units. The iPhone 5c, meanwhile, didn’t perform the way the company had expected.

In short, growth has slowed but Apple, as a hardware manufacturer, is still blowing it out of the water. iPhone sales are still up almost 7 percent from last year. And $13.1 billion in profit in one quarter isn’t something to sneeze at.

Remember, Apple’s stock has dropped the day after quarterly earnings for every earnings report, ever. This happens for a number of reasons — analyst concern over certain markets being saturated, analyst concern over competition in emerging markets, analyst concern over generally slowed growth.

Donald Trump, an analyst in his own right, explained with Tarzanian eloquence his own reasoning for the stock dip.

The good news, for Don, is that Apple is rumored to be working on two larger screen iPhones, at 4.5-inches and 5-inches.