WTF Is Your Wearable Strategy? Well, Here It Is

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I’m sure many of you have, of late, been lying awake at night – as I have, on many a lonely evening in your London garret, listening to the wind blow through the rain-soaked city as you dab plaintively at the condensation on the window – about what on earth your “Wearable Strategy” is going to be. I mean. Seriously. What the hell are we going to do about it? Yes, there might be a revolution going on in the Ukraine and Syrian children being garrotted in the street by Asma al-Assad, but where are we going to get our next version of Google Glass and will it summon Uber cabs with two blinks, for pity’s sake? But at least now someone has come to our rescue.

In a stroke of genius, British resident Daniel O’Connell has launched what I think you’ll agree is going to be required reading from now on: WhatTheFuckIsMyWearableStrategy.com (or wtfimws on Twitter).

Launched last week, not long after the veritable Wearable Orgy that was CES, he threw it up “For fun.” So modest huh?

“The idea started with a talk by @iancrocombe called ‘WTF is my wearable fashion strategy?’. I thought it would be funny to build on his idea and create the generator,” Daniel tells us.

But, he “had no idea it would strike such a chord.”

And it has.

The site has received almost 60,000 unique visitors since Friday last week, giving out helpful answers such as:

“HEADSET THAT QUIVERS WHEN YOUR BUS IS DUE”

“PAIR OF SANDALS THAT SWITCHES THE TELLY ON WHEN IT’S WINDY”

“E-CIGARETTE THAT FLASHES WHEN SOMEONE LOGS INTO YOUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT”

Why does he think the site struck such a chord? Are wearables over-hyped, perchance?

“Everybody’s clearly going bonkers over wearables, especially after CES, and people are probably asking themselves the question. Are they over-hyped?”, he muses.

“It depends what we make of them. If we solve the obesity problem and predictively prevent heart attacks then no. If we create loads of short-lived, useless, branded junk, then yes, definitely.”

Blasphemy! We love branded junk!

Doesn’t Daniel have any wearables himself? He does not, although he does “love” Nike+ running.

Out of the ones he detests, he says Google Glass (the current version) “looks far too stupid to be considered by even remotely style conscious individuals. This is the challenge wearables face. Most people just aren’t into Star Trek cosplay.”

Sorry, Daniel, you lost us for a moment there. We’re committed to Glassholes going mainstream, here at TechCrunch Towers.

Have any of the answers on the site been discovered to be real products?

“Not yet, although there are some real products that look like the generator invented them (Durex, I’m talking to you).”

You hear that, Durex? Get on that Wearable Condom Strategy this instant!

Oh.

Additional reporting by Sarah Perez

[Photo: Shutterstock]