TechCrunch Writer Update, Sat 02/16 – Fri 02/22

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(Each week, Eric and Alexia update the TechCrunch editorial team on our performance, providing important stat breakdowns, such as total number of posts and pageviews, as well as how those stats compared to the previous week and the top writer in each category.

They also provide updates on notable news within the organization, like new hires, new roles, and important upcoming events and goals — that sort of thing. This was my response to our fearless leaders’ last update, reprinted by request.)

Hey TechCrunch edit team,

Here’s my breakdown for the week (2/16-2/22):

Total meals: 18 (-2)
# of drinks: 0 (same)
# of days biking: 4 (-1)
# of cigarettes: 14 (+2)
Cups of coffee: 15 (same)
Hours slept: ~24 (-4)

All in all, not a bad week, but I could have done better. Most notably, my meals were down over the week, and I had gotten less sleep, due mainly to embargoes and a fit of restlessness I just couldn’t shake. I’m still doing a dry February, so there was no change on the drinks front — expect that number to jump significantly when I resume drinking next week. The good news is that hard drug consumption will likely be down as a result.

News
The biggest news for me last week was that a new cafe was added to my neighborhood. It serves Four Barrel coffee, so it should be a good alternative place to work if I need to get out of my tiny studio apartment but don’t have the wherewithal to visit the office. (Rip Empson disease.) In other news, I hired a cleaning lady (drastically needed), but efforts to get a Taskrabbit to pick stuff up from IKEA for me were unsuccessful over the weekend. Will try again this weekend, or book a Zipcar and get the stuff myself.

Clean desks
Some of you in San Francisco may have noticed that one of the two edit desks in the office was surprisingly clean this week. That’s because I threw out a lot of shit that had been lying around for a while. Apologies if there was swag in there meant for you, but I get the feeling you won’t miss it.

Viral videos
I’ve been asked to head up scouting for our next viral video project, due to the immense success of our Harlem Shake video. I’ll be on the lookout for new popular videos to imitate. Unfortunately, I don’t think ‘Jennifer Lawrence falls down the Oscar stairs‘ or ‘cat riding on a hipster riding on a bicycle‘ are particularly replicable. Look forward to hearing more in the coming weeks.

Onward and upward,

Ryan

liz lemon