IPOH!: Groupon Becomes Its Own Hot, Discounted Deal

Rip Empson

Rip Empson is a writer and rabble-rouser at TechCrunch. He covers startups. Why? Because some of those startups are the next Googles, Facebooks and Twitters of the world, they just can’t afford the office space yet. Plus, entrepreneurs tend to be more insane (and interesting) than the average human. Within the Whacky World Of Startups, Rip focuses on music,... → Learn More

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011
Screen shot 2011-10-25 at 2.45.49 AM

With the Groupon roadshow underway and the countdown to its IPO expected to culminate on November 4th, the long-anticipated arrival of the daily deals giant on the public markets is almost at hand. But the journey hasn’t been without its fair share of hiccups. While the company currently owns a 54 percent share of the daily deals market and there were some bright spots in its third quarter earnings report, the daily deals juggernaut has fallen from a once hoped-for $25 to $30 billion valuation to one that will likely be around $11.4 billion.

Comparatively speaking, going with that questionable early valuation from its underwriters, at as much as 62 percent off, Groupon itself now represents one helluva deal for the eager coupon clipping investor. Thanks to some hilarious characters on the team at Cat5 Commerce’s Runningshoes.com, we now have an awesome mock deal in which Groupon itself is offering its common stock for the discounted price of $16 a share.

To be clear: This deal has not been created by Groupon itself. This was made by a third party for satirical purposes only; though there will no doubt be many that are fooled by the bargain, as the mock deal page captures Groupon’s design and snarky rhetoric with the precision of a well-sharpened lampoon. Next to deals for Pets.com’s sock puppet and sole ownership of Myspace, Groupon’s common stock looks like a steal. I mean, come on, you can now save $24 a share! You simply can’t beat this basement price. Of course, as it goes, these low prices won’t last forever. Or will they?

As Runningshoes’ Groupon for Groupon states, “The most opulent offer-you-can’t-refuse offer is smack-dab in front of you. Owning a piece of what Forbes deemed “the fastest growing company ever” will be akin to governing a province in the Roman Empire. People on the street? They’ll know your name. People in buildings? They’ll probably know it, too. C’mon. Make Warren Buffett look like a chump today.”

Well played, Runninshoes.com, well played. Especially considering there’s only one small link back to its website hidden down the page, this is meta snarky marketing gold.

Here’s to looking forward to Runningshoes’ roadshow.

For those keeping track, the domain, runningshoes.com, was purchased by Cat5 Commerce back in April for $700,000.

Update: Apparently Groupon didn’t think this was so funny.


Company: Groupon
Website: groupon.com
Launch Date: November 11, 2008
IPO: July 11, 2011, NASDAQ:GRPN

Groupon features a daily deal on the best stuff to do, see, eat, and buy in more than 565 cities around the world. By promising businesses a minimum number of customers, Groupon can offer deals that aren’t available elsewhere. Groupon brings buyers and sellers together in a fun and collaborative way that offers the consumer an unbeatable deal, and businesses a large number of new customers. To date, it has saved consumers more than $300 million and claims it...

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Company: Cat5 Commerce
Website: cat5.com
Launch Date: 2004

Cat5 Commerce develops and operates niche ecommerce stores. Many of their sites are themed around prominent keyword domain names such as RunningShoes.com, HikingBoots.com and TacticalGear.com.

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