Pro Tip: Do Not Buy An iPad From A Dude In A McDonald’s Parking Lot

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Asteroid. The iPad is an awesome device, but it costs money. Even second-hand models often command more than a new Android tablet. They’re just that much in demand. But look, if a guy, moreover a guy with as the police report states has a visible gold tooth, says he’s selling iPads he purchased in bulk for $300, takes $180 instead, you better check that product out before you drive home. This is unfortunately the sad story of how Ashley McDowell was scammed into buying a wooden iPad.

The story is rather straight forward. Per a police report, Ms. Ashley McDowell, age 22, was approached by two black males in a McDonald’s parking offering to sell her an iPad for $300. They said they purchased said devices in bulk and were passing the savings onto consumers. How nice. McDowell explained that all she had was $180, which the kind gentlemen accepted anyway.

Up until this point, it’s hard to argue against Ashley’s logic. I’d take an iPad for $180. Hell, I’d take a dozen. But Ms. McDowell ran head first into stupidity by not inspecting the merchandise.

You see, Ashley then exchanges her money for the iPad and drives home where she then opens up the FedEX container, for the first time, to find that *shock* it was a scam. She had purchased nothing more than a rather strange and surprisingly elaborately decorated wooden block, framed with black tape and sporting a replica Apple logo and iOS icons. The police report also describe a sort of “Best Buy sales ticket.” I’m personally more amused that the guys created such an obvious, but complex replica instead of using, you know, a normal piece of wood.

Gawker, in their usual asshole tone, states Ashley doesn’t deserve her money back as a sort of “stupid tax” and the crooks deserve to keep it. That’s clearly the wrong course of action. The money should go to the policemen who are now assigned to finding these bad men driving, as the police report states, “a white Impala with no rims and no tint” who are scamming unsuspecting little girls out of their daddy’s money. Buy those cops a keg and throw ‘em party.

7:10 pm 8/30/2011: Updated the post to clearly state that the descriptions of the crooks are from the police report, not my imagination.