ACOUZTIC by XCEON IZ FLSHLGHT WIZ MP3 PLYR, CZTZS $139

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Minno Rebrands As BuySimple, Partners With SoundCloud, Raises $700K For Micropayments

It’s hard out there for a Alien Abduction Believer. You’re busy wandering near the desert with a .22 and some binocs and you keep missing your favorite talk shows while keeping our nation safe from the teeming hordes/slavering alien brood mothers at the border. What to do? Why not pay $139 for a flashlight/MP3 player combo so you can get your news fix will keeping an eye out for aliens. Seriously. Alex Jones would totally recommend this if he knew about it. I bet its even better than his patented Commando Unit Food Grower which is actually a chia pet in a dome.

Why buy just one? Buy two! Or three! Heck! Buy a gross! I’m sure they could swing a bulk discount your way. Anything to get this product into the hands of fools who deserve to have their money parted from them.

I mean seriously. WTF?

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