You would think that, in a city like Seattle, people would learn to A: not have gigantic, pointy umbrellas, and B: look where the hell they are walking. But no, that is not the case. I fear for my life on blustery days when iPhone-absorbed pedestrians of smaller stature menace my eyeballs with their spiky bumbershoots.
Today I learned that there are blunt umbrellas. I implore you, world, for god’s sake make this the standard. And make them cheaper, $80 is too much.