Nursery Rhymes Storytime Reminds You Of The Blasted, Lunar Hellscape That Is Your Life

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Opt-Out Cookie Error Earns Chitika A Whopping 55 Cents And An FTC Inquiry

As a modern man whose dreams and ambitions have been charred to a cinder by the vagaries of time and circumstance and whose life has been reduced to hours of overtime interspersed with a few moments of stolen sleep and, if my ulcerous stomach can handle it, the sweet oblivion of drink, I find myself drawn to this iPad app, called Nursery Rhymes Storytime. It allows your neglected child to read any number of nursery rhymes to themselves or, if you have a properly powerful device, you can read the rhymes to them as they turn the pages. While the cold, unyielding glass of the iPad is little comfort to a toddler just learning to love, I suppose, in a small way, it’s better that they learn that most of their human contact will soon be mediated through metal and circuitry as they drift farther and farther into isolation, never to return even as your boots finally crunch up the drive on the morning you’re laid off from the job that tore them from you in the first place, your arms open for that hug at last and you find them lost to you forever.

$3.99. Available now.

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