Will This Be The Worst.iPad.Announcement.Ever? Does It Matter?

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Apple news is like a media black hole. It sucks all of the other announcements out of the atmosphere and overshadows all other news for a good twenty-four hours. Even the mainstream guys get in on the act, with local newscasts establishing beachheads at Apple stores around the world where a jokey anchor phones in a quickie with HQ talking about those wacky iPads and how they wish their iPhones could run Windows. If you’re even remotely related to the tech industry, today will be a wash. You can’t announce anything, all your programmers will be glued to live coverage, and, anyway, you’ll probably be in line to pick whatever it is up tomorrow. It is sadly and irrevocably true.

That said, how about those rumors, huh? A slight bump in processor speed, a front and back camera, and maybe an A5 chip. Thunderbolt? Nah, who needs Thunderbolt on a tablet, especially when the average consumer can’t tell a Thunderbolt from a rain cloud. But if this Amazon screenshot is to be believed, we’ll be rocking some Thunderbolt whether we like it or not.

If history is any guide, this new iPad announcement won’t amaze us. It’s an iterative update, akin to the difference between the iPod Touch and iPod Touch 2nd Gen. The cameras are a pretty big deal – I know a lot of folks on the fence about the iPad right now and they’re waiting for the cameras in order to perform a little Facetime with loved ones – but little else will knock our socks off. Greg, who is girding his loins as we speak, believes we’ll see iOS 4.3 with its hotspot capabilities.

I’m looking forward to this announcement. Apple days are like snow days around here. We sit still, staring at coverage for a few full hours and then, when the dust settles, we get to watch the rest of the media play catch-up. Be prepared, however, for the nasally voices of the naysayers claiming this is the worst iPad update in the whole world. Ignore them. Just bask in the glorious burst of fury that is the Apple PR machine.