Just a quick stop. That’s all it is. You left your “STFU” hat (the one you like to wear on weekends) in your office, and it’s totally (kind of) on the way to the family reunion anyway. Just a quick stop.

Crap! The company’s router is acting up! Imagine how much business they might lose! They’re going to call you up while you’re at the reunion anyway — you might as well just fix it now. But all you have is your iPhone, and you’ll need a wired connection to fix this. If only you could connect your iPhone to the router via some sort of crazy, specialized cable!

Well, friend, your ultra-nerdy, ultra-niche, probably-non-existent wish has been answered.

Redpark, the same company that came out with that crazy specialized iPhone cable for controlling telescopes, is back with another one: The Console Cable.

The $69 Console cable is essentially a dock connector on one end and a 6-foot RJ-45 ethernet cable on the other. Plug the RJ-45 end into the Cisco router’s console port, pop the dock connector into your iOS device, then load up the company’s $10 Get Console app — bam! You’re fixin’ the Intertubes from your iPad, and you’re just about ready to head off to the family reunion. Once you’ve figured out why Mary-from-HR’s computer keeps resetting itself, of course.

(And for those wondering: no, this cable probably won’t let you get on the Internets on your iOS device via a wired connection.)