Watch First-Run Movies In The Comfort Of Your Own Home… for $20,000

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It’s hard out there for a man with a dream. Beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men, they work hard to make something happen in their lives and people come on and wee on their dream. Take Jason Pang, founder of Prima Cinema. His company is going to offer first-run movies to the general public for $20,500 for the first movie and $500 for future titles. It’s men like Pang, populists to a one, that make this country great.

The company, which received $5 million in funding from the “venture arms” of Best Buy and Universal, will install a Prima box in the homes of the rich and allow them to download first-run movies at $500 a pop. Before you say “Who in their right mind would ever do such a thing? Can’t they all go out to a movie with the family like the rest of us?” I beseech you: think of the oligarchs! These are men who are so rich that $20,000 is the equivalent of a good lunch at a deli to them. $500? That’s how much they spend on toilet paper a week. For these men, watching horrible Hollywood movies from the comfort of their private screening room is a right, not a privilege.

Incidentally, the rich are already getting first-run movies. Writes the WSJ:

A handful of entertainment-industry power brokers and other wealthy individuals, known as “the Bel-Air circuit,” for years have received free prints of first-run movies from studios to show in their home screening rooms. Prima would make first-run movies available to a larger audience—those willing to pay—and would generate revenue for studios.

That’s right: old men in boat shoes are watching Couples Retreat before you even heard about it. The product should be available soon, provided you have the cash and a general refusal to accept reality.

via Giz

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