Gresso Luxor: The Phone You Bury Alongside Your Still-Living Servants In Your Stone Tomb

Gresso is at it again with the Gresso Luxor, an abomination of a phone designed for rich men. The Gresso has a 42-carat “sapphire crystal” and is made of steel clad in PVD. It’s clad in 200-year-old “African blackwood” because, presumably, elephant skin was too gauche.

This phone is a follow-up to the already horrible Gresso Luxor and should cost about $5,000 or so along with the eternal souls of your scribes, cooks, and litter-bearers.