Hey, lazy: want a Black Belt watch but don’t have a black belt? Well put down that Chicago-style hot dog and listen up. The same company that brought you the $3,000 watch for black belts only (you had to submit an application) is offering the Black Belt Spirit for those who want “A choice of life at your wrist.” See? The watchmakers know you’re such a slob that you won’t even care if their motto is grammatically correct and/or totally nonsensical!

This watch is about $500 and has a piece of garbage quartz movement, just right for the clods who can’t do the Iron Horse kata without burping up the remainder of a 99 cent Wendy’s value meal. Real black belts can still get the original watch and then beat up the folks who bought the Black Belt Spirit watch. HIIIII-YA!

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