“Is this CNN or the Onion?” The question has become something of a cliche over the past nine years or so. Every time a terrorist invents a new way to try to bring down a plane, you can guarantee that either the American or British government will enact a piece of bizarre knee jerk legislation to firmly lock the stable door after the terror-horse has bolted.
Box cutter hijackers? No airside butter knives!
Shoe bomber? Passengers must remove shoes before boarding!
Underwear bomber? Genital scanning for all!
And so when I heard that a Somali al-Qaedan had planted a cellphone bomb inside a printer cartridge on a cargo plane, I knew it was only a matter of time until….
…3….
…2…
…1…
Are you freaking kidding me? Printer cartridges?
I feel like Tom Lehrer after Kissinger won the Nobel peace prize. I literally don’t know how to parody this; it simply defies comical exaggeration. Here, for the benefit of travelers, is a full list of things which are now banned on transatlantic flights…
Finally I feel safe.
* may be carried in checked baggage.
Austin, TX
Seattle, WA
San Diego, CA
Menlo Park, CA
San Francisco, CA
Berlin, Germany
