Revo-Round: Bravely Saving China From the Square-Eye Menace

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In one of the most baffling moves I’ve ever seen in CE, a company named Revo-Round is creating a “roundtop” computer with a round screen and keyboard. Why? To “preserve the characteristic proud Asian look for future generations to come!”

Yeah, you read that right. Square screens are causing Asians to lose their Epicanthic folds.

Before you yell at me, read this:


That is the conclusion of Professor Zhou Hongan. Measurements done in research at around 150 000 Chinese babies in the last twenty years has shown that the position of the eyes relative to the whole face has changed. It seems that the Asian glance will disappear as it takes on more and more Western features. Although the changes are minor and hard to detect, the rate of change of the face is to such an extent that an evolutionary development can be identified.

As the reason for the physical change the University of Shanghai notes the frequent use of computer screens. 87.4% of the people in the China has access to a computer while sales of “tangible” newspaper and magazine are painfully stagnant. In the major metropolitan areas in China there is also an exceptionally high percentage of e-zine readers. More and more city dwellers prefer the digital newspaper to the paper version.

While I agree that the Pepper moth can change over time due to the soot spewing out of London factories during the Industrial Revolution, unless I’m mistaken evolutionary change in humans will not “select” for wider eyes due to computer screen usage, especially in the relatively short period computer screens have existed. It’s not like folks with bigger eyes are reproducing more, especially considering the one child per couple rules in China.

Either this is an April Fool’s joke or someone really misunderstood Darwin. The specs are crazy too and the manufacturer seems to think this will be a Mac or a PC and that the “roundtop” will be used everywhere monitors are used including “billboards” on the street.

And yes, this is for real:

Hello Mr. John Biggs,

Yes this is real. After research from Jiaotong University we have developed this product together with Professor Zhou Hongan.

From the Holland side and US team we have got investment of around 50 million EUROS.

Regards,

Tang Feng – ??
Project Engineer

Maybe this is part of some odd, Chinese comedy show. Incidentally, they just closed a 50 million Euro round with someone equally insane.

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