Oh, you thought we were lying about the Samsung Epic 4G launching on August 31st? One of these days, friend, you’re going to realize we’d never lie to you. Because we love you.

Our creepy, unsolicited love aside, let it be known: The Samsung’s QWERTY-packing, Super AMOLED-toting, Android-powered megaphone hit the shelves at Sprint retail spots early this morning. It’ll set you back $249 on a 2-year contract through Sprint — but, as is usually the case these days, Amazon’s got an ever so slightly better deal ($199 on a 2-year contract).