Is it a barbell for a pigeon? Is it a pair of nipple clamps? What, friends, is it?
Freakin’ A right it’s a bottle opener for your bike! You and your fixie riding friends can hit the park and open your Mexican Cokes and bottles of Bell’s Oberon without having to break your lighters trying to do that one trick you used to do in college! Then, as the sun goes down on the inebriated pack of suppressed sexual energy that is your peer group, you can ride back to your respective homes and stare idly at Reddit while imagining a time when life wasn’t so amazingly complicated and lonely.
The Roadpopper is available on Shapeways and costs $40.