New from some Chinese company: a manual paper shredder inside a pen. It also has a secret ink feature and the manufacturer describes it thuswise:

1:White led flash light on top
2:Writing ballpen
3:Write out invisible letters.
4:Light the letters with LED light on top and read your secrets.
5:Paper lacerating function.

I won’t put a link because this is the jankiest think I’ve seen in a long while. Like what can you shred with this? A rolling paper? A tortilla?