The Sapphire 5970 4G Toxic Edition is the fastest video card on Planet Earth

Nicholas Deleon

Nicholas likes video games, soccer, UFC, and astronomy–particularly the study of asteroids. He went to NYU. → Learn More

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

Damn you, Sapphire. Three weeks ago I bought your vanilla Radeon 5970, and now you release the Radeon 5970 4G TOXIC Edition? What a load of bunk. Fastest video card on the planet, you say? Well I say FE$%Fxtgredth.

I’m not hating on the technology of the card itself. I mean, how can you get mad at 4GB of on-board memory and a 900MHz core, plus a special Arctic Cooling cooler? My card has 2GB of memory and a 725 MHz core—it might as well be some mud and sticks in there.

It’s basically a beefed up ATI Radeon 5970, benchmarks of which are all over the Internet. Spoiler: it’s really fast.

No word on how much it’ll cost, but you’ve got to be looking at at least $650.

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