Because of leaks, we need to immediately implement DRM on console games

It’s time we start implementing DRM on console games. I mean, look at this nonsense. The Xbox 360 version of BioShock 2 leaked yesterday, a full five days before its official release. The same thing happened with Mass Effect 2, which leaked something like six days for the Xbox 360 before its official release. Since publishers are so keen to treat PC gamers like filthy thieves, I say we start implementing annoying DRM on console games, too.

Granted, the differences between PC games and console games are such that you’d need to implement different forms of DRM, but here’s a few ideas.

• Game discs will be permanently linked to consoles. No taking that new game you just bought to your friend’s house to play there!

• On every disc is a special phone number that you need to call to get permission to play the game (phone centers open only from 9-5pm EST)

• To prevent online cheating, all game saves will be stored on, and only on, the publisher’s servers

• You need to sign up for four different “value enhancement” accounts in order download any and all DLC, which will then be linked to your social security number (or equivalent)

• Any game discs inserted into a console before the approved release date will result in a temporary console lockout, rendering your video game console inoperable until publishers’ technicians come to your house to verify that you are, indeed, a legitimate owner

These are just a few measures that can be taken to prevent console piracy. I mean, if we’re going to keep pretending that all PC gamers are pirates because the games are easily available only, well, why not take the same stance with console gamers? Surely, in 2010, it’s just as easy to burn an Xbox 360 game to a blank DVD as it is to mount an ISO of a PC game? Or do publishers think that flashing an Xbox 360 disc drive so it can run pirated games is beyond the abilities of your average 16-year-old kid?