You know what you need to clean out your ears? Tools. And not tools like Q-tips.

Real tools. Motorized, mechanized, battery-using tools. Take this Cordless ear wax cleaner, for instance. It’s only ten bucks and it runs on AA batteries.

According to the product description:

“Cordless ear wax cleaner safely and easily suctions out wax. Powerful, yet gentle suction removes embedded wax without injury. Compact, includes stand. Requires two AA batteries, not included.”

I like that it includes a stand. “What’s that weird apparatus prominently displayed on your bathroom sink? Water pik? Electric tooth brush?”

Nope. It’s a cordless ear wax remover. You didn’t stick it in your mouth did you? You wouldn’t tell me even if you did, would you? You stuck it in your mouth, didn’t you?

EAR WAX CLEANER [Taylor Gifts via Red Ferret]