NSFW: Hey! Look behind you! It's the tablet of the future!

There are several reasons why I would never describe myself as a “futurologist”.

The first reason – obviously – is that “futurologist” isn’t a real job, any more than is “mixologist” or “sandwich artist” or “social media expert”. The second reason is that I am absolutely terrible at predicting things, especially in the field of technology. For example, almost a decade ago, I was one of the first columnists to declare that camera phones would never catch on, while at the same time predicting a bold and exciting future for red-button interactive television.

In fact, looking back, there’s almost no successful technological advancement that I haven’t summarily dismissed, or an embarrassing flop in which I’ve failed to invest both my enthusiasm and my money. And it’s for precisely this reason that, until now, I’ve kept my mouth shut about the Apple Tablet. Whatever I say before the device is launched – if it’s launched – will almost certainly prove to be humiliatingly wrong and, as Mark Twain (or was it Abraham Lincoln?) put it, it’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

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