Poor North Korea (politics aside, of course). It finds itself in the “group of death” in the 2010 FIFA World Cup, alongside Brazil, Côte d’Ivoire, and Portugal. With all due respect to the team, there’s no way it’s going to get past the likes of Luís Fabiano and Kaká, Didier Drogba and Yaya Touré, and Cristiano Ronaldo and, well… let’s just count Cristiano twice. Twitter agrees: “Groups of death aren’t always deadly groups. But North Korea are completely dead already. #worldcupdraw.” Yes, this will be the first FIFA World Cup of the Twitter era. Brace yourselves.
I watched the draw live while simultaneously monitoring Twitter. You’re right: I have nothing better to do with my time. Here’s a few choice tweets:
• By the way, England, Algeria, Slovenia and USA is its own group of death. A death of exciting football!
• France, of course, gets punished for the handball vs Ireland by being placed in the South Africa group. #worldcupdraw
• Los españoles creen que Chile es una selección fácil… pobresitos. (The Spanish think that Chile is an easy team… poor things.)
• HEXA CAMPEÃO EM 2010: BRASIL ! (Six-time champions in 2010: Brazil!)
• Mesmo! Brasil ou Portugal? Digamos que com tantos brasileiros a jogar na selecção portuguesa vai ser um jogo Brasil vs Brasil B (I agree! Brazil or Portugal? They say that so many Brazilians play for the Portuguese team that it’ll be a game of Brazil vs Brazil B.) (Note: I legit lol’d at that one.)
• Team USA drew those Limey bastards from England In the FIFA World cup draw today!
• Fuck yeah America! We gonna kick us some Algeria and Slovenia ass! Soccer! USA! USA! USA! USA!
Yes, the “USA! USA!” chant is somehow just as obnoxious on Twitter as it is in the stands of an actual match.
I fully expect Twitter to shine during the tournament.