I’m leaving this image of kittens here for those who don’t want to see the images after the jump. However, this is a $44 Fleshlight (for putting your penis into) with vampire teeth. That’s right – you can recreate all your favorite scenes from your Twilight slashfic in the comfort of your own home, car, or place of worship.
The device is just a Fleshlight with teeth but what a profile this thing has. It looks like a nerdy lamprey. Here’s what the website has to say:
Introducing Succu Dry Sex in a Can from Fleshlight, the world’s first vampire inspired sex toy for men. Take a walk on the dark side and get familiar with this pale brew. But be careful! Though this may feel like love at first bite, make sure you have wood poised to penetrate before you get completely drained! Enjoy to excess to ensure encounters with Succu Dry are A-Positive experience.
Sex in a can: what America is having for dinner.