Pip pip, guv’nor! How’s about a shine? Right-o. Grand pair of shoes, guv’nor. ‘Tis a pleasure to apply paste to the likes of these. S’that? Aye, I’ve got a Nokia, nice phone. Me bird got it for me. Pre-paid.

Cor, crikey! A watch phone! On Orange? ‘Tis not every day a fellow sees the likes of that. Might I ask how much something like that cost? 500 quid! Crikey! A bit of fluff that ain’t, I might say. Roit. On to the shine…

Why the cane, guv’nor. No, sire, I’ve given it a look. No, sire, tis a nice watchphone. A bit small and ridiculous but I believe I’ve given it its due. Look again? Guv’nor, I’m looking. The likes of that would make any man proud.

No, Guv’nor, no disrespect. No, no, proper attention being paid and all. No, guv’nor, please no. Gah! My head! My bad ear! ‘Tis a beautiful watchphone, guv’nor, tis beautiful. God on his throne in heaven! Stop beating me! ‘Tis a lovely watch, sir. Lovely!