The Secret Code Of Apple's App Rejection Process Laid Bare (humor)

Our commenters have proven themselves to be a brilliant bunch once again today. Perhaps you saw our best comment ever a few weeks ago. That’s followed-up today by a commenter, tenthings, who has deciphered the code Apple uses to reject apps. Funny, we’ve been led to believe all this time that human beings actually look at the apps and make the call — even though it often doesn’t seem like it — but the script makes much more sense.

Behold, the code:

i just hacked into the App-store approval system. here’s what i found (pseudocode):

flipCoin()
if (heads)
approve app
else
reject app
wait 1 week
if (pressCoverage >= lotsOf)
rejectMoreApps
else if (pressCoverage >= tooMuch)
fireBoardMember
else
rejectAppAnyway

This seems to make a lot more sense then Apple VP Phil Schiller’s long-winded response to one rejection earlier today. And explains Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s removal from Apple’s board of directors perfectly.