Taser Shockwave will take out a herd of charging rhinos

Devin Coldewey

Devin Coldewey is a Seattle-based writer and photographer. He has written for the TechCrunch network since 2007. Some posts he’d like you to read: The Dangers of Externalizing Knowledge | Generation i | Surveillant Society | Choose Two | Frame Wars | The User’s Manifesto | Our Great Sin His personal website is coldewey.cc. → Learn More

Saturday, August 1st, 2009

tasermaster
When I posted that triple Taser the other day (apparently it’s for taking down your female coworkers, watch the video), I speculated that the criminals would come back with greater numbers, creating an arms race between muggers and the mugged. But if there was one of these on every corner, all you’d have to do is get behind it and hit the trigger, and everything you can see gets Tasered. Boom, no more muggers!

The Shockwave is meant to “de-escalate/defuse violent crowd/riot situations,” although I have a feeling that if you Taser the first wave of a crowd, it might get a lot more rowdy — especially if they see that your Shockwave is a one-shot device, or three at the most (plus you can duck).

At that point, it’s time to bring out the pain ray. Sergeant! Warm up the pain ray! Wait, they did what with it?

Oh, man! I made a poem:
Taser, taser, burning bright
in a show of force tonight

[via Dvice and Geekologie]

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