Lip vacuum will make you look so beautiful

John Biggs

Biggs is the East Coast Editor of TechCrunch. Biggs has written for the New York Times, InSync, USA Weekend, Popular Mechanics, Popular Science, Money and a number of other outlets on technology and wristwatches. He is the former editor-in-chief of Gizmodo.com and lives in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. You can Tweet him here and G+ him here. Email him directly at... → Learn More

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

diylipskit
He loves you. He really does. Look at him over there eating his sandwich. He wants you. But how can you make him go the extra mile? How can you make him hike up his pants and walk over to you and really notice you.

You could watch him from his driveway, sure, and drive away when he comes out. You could do that. Or you could go to the park he goes to with his beautiful dog and make sure he sees you reading his favorite book that you took from his trash. Or you can give yourself beautiful, sensual lips without creams or injections.

That’s right. Beautiful. Sensual. He would love that. You’ve seen what he washes his tub with when you came in through his window when he was at softball – he likes the good stuff. It smelled nice, the tub washing cleaner he bought. He’s a refined man. You also know that he likes Angelina Jolie, that tramp, because you caught him looking at her picture once. So imagine if you filled the tub with tub cleaner and then made your lips soft and sensuous and beautiful. He’d notice you then. He’d want you forever.

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