I never get tired of spam like this: "Purchase Chainsaws"

With the flood of “Hello my dear” and “YOU ARE WINNER” emails in my inbox every morning, I’m actually beginning to tire of the never-ending variety presented by spam. But it’s mail like this that renews my faith in the bots and non-native speakers variating these strange messages.

The best part is trying to figure out how the scam works; it’s not your usual phishing or Spanish Prisoner scheme. Anyone have any ideas or fun variants of this sort of thing?