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How the Kerchoonz K-Box, which turns any flat surface into a speaker, saved this couple's marriage

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The following is a short play describing Kerchoonz’s K-Box. It’s a device that turns any surface into a speaker.

Setting: The present. A newlywed couple’s dining room. They’re enjoying tea and light snacks. They’re largely happy.

Jennifer: Honey, did you buy those speakers you said you’d buy for the housewarming party? I reminded you last week but I don’t see any new speakers in the house.

Brad: No, Jen, I did not order the speakers. Too expensive for a one-shot deal.

Jennifer: You know I don’t like being called “Jen.” So what, are we not gonna have music at this party? How exactly is that helpful, Brad?

Brad: Whoa, slow down, tiger. I said I didn’t buy speakers, but I never said there wouldn’t be music. I want you to lift your cup.

Jennifer: What?

Brad: Are you hard of hearing now? I said lift your cup.

**Jennifer lifts her cup**

Brad: There’s your speaker.

Jennifer: What, where?

Brad: Right there.

**Brad confidently knocks on the table, like a man who knows he’s about the prove a point**

Brad: You see, Jen, instead of buying piece-of-junk speakers from the Speaker Shack I bought this instead. It’s the K-Box, made by some company called Kerchoonz.

Jennifer: I said I don’t like being called “Jen.” Anyway, I don’t get it.

Brad: Of course you don’t! You see, dear, all you do is plug this device into your iPod then put it on top of the table. That’s it. Then music starts to play “out” of the table, like it’s a speaker.

Jennifer: So the table becomes a speaker?

Brad: That’s right, Jen. I’ll be damned if I can explain how it works beyond that. I’m not a scientist.

Jennifer: You certainly aren’t.

Brad: Listen, do you want to have this party or not? I’ll happily spend my Saturday playing Street Fighter all day, I don’t care. What do I need to talk to the Robertsons and Freedmans all day for?

Jennifer: “All day” he says! We’re just trying to be neighborly is all.

Brad: Here’s my idea of being neighborly: they stay on their side of the fence, and I’ll stay on mine.

Jennifer: Fine fine, be grumpy all the time then. Anyway, will this speaker-thing sound any good?

Brad: Well, the Web site described it as having “high quality audio,” which seems okay to me. And it also says it has bass response of 40-20 Khz—I guess that’s good?

Jennifer: You bought it, not me.

Brad: Yeah, well. It only cost about $60, so it’s not like I broke the bank or anything. (Under his breath: It’s not like I bought another pair of shoes, especially when the only place we go to is either the mall or your sister’s house.)

Jennifer: What was that?

Brad: I said I wonder what’s going on at your sister’s house. Like, will they be able to make it to the party, or are they busy?

Jennifer: Oh, that’s right! I have to remind her to bring that bottle of wine we saw that day.

Brad: Terrific. Just terrific.

Fin.

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