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Outrage: Privacy group target airport body scanners

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Man, people are pretty uncomfortable with their bodies. Remember those whole-body airport scanners? Well, “privacy advocates” are now demanding that the Transportation Security Administration remove them from all airports because, yes, they say it’s an invasion of privacy. As such, a group called the Electronic Privacy Information Center, or EPIC (really, EPIC? perhaps this whole story is fake), is starting a campaign to draw people’s attention to the matter. Once fully freaked out, people will then sign a petition or whatever because they don’t want the government stomping all over their rights or some other nonsense.

Of course, as you no doubt remember, the TSA set up a number of safeguards to insure that people’s privacy wasn’t invaded. One, the TSA guy operating the machine, standing right next to you, will never see your scan. Two, the TSA person viewing the scanned image will never see you in person, nor will he see your face—it’ll be blurred out. Three, the machine is optional, so far.

Never mind that we’re all the same dumb species, and that one guy’s fat body is no different than the next guy’s. But, if you wanna freak out, be my guest. I’m totally fine with the scanner, especially if it’ll expedite my trip through security.

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