You kids with your fancy Bluetooth headsets and your fancy satellite radio and your portable music players magically transmitting stuff to other devices without any wires. You think you’re all so special. Well I got news for you, bub: wireless headphones were available on a Sony Walkman — you know, the kind that used cassette tapes — in 1988! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, hotshot!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to talk to my best friend through a tin can attached to a string…